Pic

I'm Labled they made me and installed me like cable, **** now I'm able to stack cash that crashes tables, No more starving every morning I'm eating bagels.. Living life lovely and stable. I was so little, when I got big it made you giggle, Strate out the burg all ya'll b***** wistle.. I wont stop till I'm hured, and my fame is official.. No more cracker, no more swine.. B**** fear factor prisons of anykind.. I was created from dirt and into something.. Buttnaked into polo bants with golden buttons.. Mom's never had money to spend on me **** so I robbed and stole til' I was 13.. but before I go all into that.. I'mma tell you about this time I met this kat.. Chilling outside of school cuttin up, doing dumb **** acting a fool.. he walked up to me suit and tie.. wish he wouldnt have stopped and just passed me by.. He said son when's the last time you had money? said I don't know, then he walked me to a couple of buddys. said that's a crying shame, introduced me to a drug called crack-cocaine, it was weird I was used to ms mary jane.. Now this white s*** got me peeps all strange.. talking this and that fiening for some powder.. like scarface said with money comes power.. hour after hour.. Selling this flower got money pouring in like a cold a** shower.


Run off-

Thoughts of killing seem to eaze my mind, there's a fine line between psychotic but theres not one in mine, the public publicize murders, you get rich without reason they call you a burgler, lifes just a decoy that'cha gotta decode only 60 seconds left, no time to reload.. You gotta show these p***** that you'll never get bored, first circle the perimeter then declare a war. You got choices, either do it, or talk it.. but whatever you choose better hope you can walk it, Choked, or chopped like suey.. Better go elsewhere it's about to get gooie, Better read what I'm spelling.. I'm the type of m******** that goes postal without telling.

Pic

No negative comments yet? Hmm :-\

Rainfall

I don't think anyone bothered to read after the first line, because it's all one sentence. Seperate it out remember?

Don't you have other threads? New forum rules state only one thread per member.

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Dr_Rez

You ****ing turd. Iv had dope that would make r head spin full circle then falloff.

Theres your 1st.

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Freebase Dali

Quit thinking creativity has to adhere to a standard.
Not that this is creative in any way.. just saying...

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Rainfall

It's not a standard, it makes it readable. If he wants people to put effort into reviews, he should at least put some effort in as well. There was already a discussion about it in his other thread that he shouldn't technically have.

Don't assume you know what I'm talking about (it makes an ass out of 'u' and me... but mostly you), just like last time (in your thread), in which the obvious sarcasm that EVERYONE was using seemed to not apply to only my post, and it went right over your head.

Then you had a little hissy fit about it.

I wasn't remotely thinking 'creatively,' in any way. Just want a little effort put in, so it's readable and I know he cares about what he's doing. Not a whole lot to ask for.

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Engine

I could read it fine. I love the rhyme about bagels and how they're a sign of wealth. Otherwise pretty awful.

Freebase Dali

You really shouldn't assume he was writing to please your version of what legible aesthetics should look like.
(You know... makes an ass out of you. Every time.)

You stated his writing was hard to read because it was all one sentence. Well, there was punctuation there. It was more like a bad paragraph, but a paragraph nonetheless.

You do know how to read paragraphs, correct?

I don't have to assume to know that you were referring to stanzas. And what you were referring to only applies to people who mistakenly think that something means anything only if it "looks" like everything else people fucking suck down and gargle with a majority opinion.
People like that are not only limiting themselves, but are feeding the expectations of thin-horizon stamp copies like yourself.

Stop.
Just stop.
I'm tired of defending the concept of creative expression from closed-minded robots.

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Nicktarist

okay, then don't. Obvious form is just more understandable I suppose. There's no problem whether you use it or don't, but then you start blurring the lines of what makes poetry and what makes an essay. Then you realize that it's all just writing with rules when we could always just write without em'. Hell, In many ways, I hate writing poetry because I feel as if there's some form or standard I have to abide to in order for it to be poetry. That's not true, and when you strip it down, it's only the mindset that makes the writing what it is.

I have, in my head, a small set of rules of what makes 'good' poetry though. They're just a couple lines that I don't want to cross. That's not necessarily because I want to be closeminded. I have philosophical reasons (as in, if one topic is written about too much, it will dilute the meaning of the topic--love, hate, etc. are examples). Some topics I don't want to touch because I feel as if I will either go overboard, or dilute it too much--going either way would completely destroy the purpose of writing it in the first place (in the eyes of the reader, or ears of the hearer).

Order is not one of those lines, but because Pic's writing implies standard form, it's recommended that he organize it in such a way. But we should all remember, because this is a lyrics forum, everything should be said, not read.

Now that I think about it, writing these lyrics down on a forum kind-of defeats the meaning or power of lyrics. This is sort of contradictory of the style right? There are, obvious, on paper differences, but the biggest one is inflection and tone. Allot of good songs are incredibly cheesy on paper, but when sung, or said (by a good singer, or rapper, of course) they make much more sense than they really should--because emphasis of certain words can help people like me connect phrases together to make a recognizable meaning.... I guess that means we should start posting videos or clips from now on, instead of writing. It doesn't make much sense when you get down to it.

Why the hell did I write all that?

peace,
-nick

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Freebase Dali

Nick, I understand where you're coming from.
And yes, it's a lyrics and poetry forum, but I don't think we should strictly be categorically confined within those two criteria.

I like to see people able to create an emotion, a message, a statement.. all creatively, and not have to follow a guideline unless, of course, they're trying to.
I dunno. I've read some absolutely outstanding creative works that were essentially free-form writing and brain dumps but still managed to create such a visceral and vivid imagery and tone that structure would have all but killed the flow and feel of the work.

I just think that if someone wants to share that kind of expression with the world, they should be recognized for their intentions, and not reprimanded for not meeting a criteria they weren't aiming to satisfy in the first place.

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