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09-04-2009, 02:57 AM | #21 (permalink) | |
Not your best friend.
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Portland, Oregon
Posts: 67
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09-04-2009, 06:19 PM | #22 (permalink) |
Music?! Lets boogie!
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: CO
Posts: 215
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You see! this is why she needs a different name. I can't work with a character everyone already thinks they know.
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"Not remotely! Because iocaine comes from Australia, as everyone knows. And Australia is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you." |
09-09-2009, 12:45 PM | #23 (permalink) | ||
"Hermione-Lite"
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: New York.
Posts: 3,084
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Quote:
My favourite part: Quote:
<3 |
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09-09-2009, 05:53 PM | #24 (permalink) |
Music?! Lets boogie!
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: CO
Posts: 215
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Thanks. Its my most sentimental poem by far. Its good to know that I at least have a grain-of-sand bit of talent for communicating emotions. I appreciate u taking the time to read.
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"Not remotely! Because iocaine comes from Australia, as everyone knows. And Australia is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you." |
09-09-2009, 07:29 PM | #25 (permalink) | |
"Hermione-Lite"
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: New York.
Posts: 3,084
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Quote:
Well done. |
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09-11-2009, 08:24 AM | #26 (permalink) |
Music?! Lets boogie!
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: CO
Posts: 215
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*sigh* one of my real life friends just joined and now im embarressed about this entire thread :$ oh well, there goes my cyber world anomnity. its k though, cuz he's awsome. Methinks you all will like Nomas
__________________
"Not remotely! Because iocaine comes from Australia, as everyone knows. And Australia is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you." |
09-11-2009, 07:25 PM | #27 (permalink) |
"Hermione-Lite"
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: New York.
Posts: 3,084
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Ohh, I can imagine how that would be difficult. Do they know this is your username?
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09-14-2009, 06:41 PM | #29 (permalink) |
Music?! Lets boogie!
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: CO
Posts: 215
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oh no worries, music banter is an awsome and unexpected resource for me, I won't be leaving anytime soon, though probably i will start spending a little less time here considering the fact that i have very little free time. I'm still trying to write my very first actual love poem! Its not going well since Im so pressed for time, but i will post it the second its done! (ok, maybe the day its done...or the week :P )
Im glad your enjoying my journey, I certainly am.
__________________
"Not remotely! Because iocaine comes from Australia, as everyone knows. And Australia is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you." |
09-22-2009, 05:57 PM | #30 (permalink) |
Music?! Lets boogie!
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: CO
Posts: 215
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Heeey. This isn't a poem or song (again!) but I haven't been writing a lot lately. Sorry!
But, this is a word sketch I did a long time ago, with a little revision, that I'd like some feedback on. Its a little bit "emo" but I'm trying to, eventually, develop the girl in the sketch to the point that she is believable without being cliche. This is one of the things I've written that may actually have potential as a full fledged story. The title's kind of random, but it alludes to stuff that (will probably) happen later. Thx for reading! (in advance ) I heard it Second Hand Over time, she had snuffed out her sun. Evening birds and unruly children on the sunny street below the window were silenced, first by the glass itself and then by layers of red and black fabric – dusty curtains that had not been disturbed in months. The outside world was completely shut out, no foreign light or voice defiled this space that she had claimed as her own just under a year ago. All things were controlled, all comings and goings monitored; everything was hers and hers alone. Inside, she lay on her back with her eyes closed. Cords of sound wound themselves around her neck, making her swallow the hot tears that waited. Angry screams were forced out of second hand speakers and an old red light illuminated one corner of the room, casting bloody shadows. The furniture, mostly spray painted black, crouched and sagged, as if begrudging its rescue from the junkyard. But she paid no attention to the angry chair or the dripping paintings, long since dry. She had created this room, fit it all together to reflect the soul of its maker, and knew it inside out. Her eyes focused in a world of in-betweens, a world in which the living slowly begin to fade away. The bed on which she lay was only an ancient mattress slumped on the floor, but it gave the room an air of gypsy abandon, and was where she spent most of her time. She had not seen the sun in almost three months now, and only left the darkness of her room to use the restroom. If she were to sit in the moonlight, the skin of her face would have given off a milky glow – a deep contrast to the pitch black of her hair and eyes. But this same skin hung loosely and the honeyed roots of her hair showed where the black dye had not been touched up. Her black retinas regarded the world with the kind of numbness and detachment seen in neglected and starving dogs. The Relentless Aunt still insisted on bringing up her “good ol’ home cooking, but now let her eat and exist in almost total seclusion. Yet too often, the green beans grew cold and the mashed potatoes hard – altogether untouched. These meals pointlessly arrived three times a day, the only instances in which time asserted itself. Didn’t that worry of a woman understand that food is only for those who desire to live? Was there a possibility that these remnants of a girl were even still alive?
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"Not remotely! Because iocaine comes from Australia, as everyone knows. And Australia is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you." Last edited by VeggieLover; 09-22-2009 at 07:44 PM. |
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