VeggieLover

I found this one particularly interesting to me just because I've posted a poem on hands too. Very different view points, but in a subtle way the same style. You have a real gift if you can focus your attention. These are excellent poems, but to make them into music you'll have to put in a bit more structure and make them just a bit longer...unless you wanted to break them up a little bit and have them be mostly instrumentals.



I didn't like Tard just because I didn't understand it too well, and I have a particular aversion to the misuse of the word retard, we tend to make it very lighthearted, which its not.

I agree with everyone else that the last stanza of your first poem is very well written. Perhaps if you revised the first stanza a bit to reflect the last one (while still keeping its serious meaning) it would fit together a little better and better convey your point.

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"Not remotely! Because iocaine comes from Australia, as everyone knows. And Australia is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you."