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07-03-2009, 10:30 AM | #1 (permalink) |
Groupie
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 9
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Facts - own song
plz comment and tell me what u think plz!
FACTS - ME i finally found it all days being around it you and me forever to the end of time its gona be okay clearly now i see what i have in front of me u always have been there but i was blind Sick of all from behind but now im afraid of loosing u cuz u are my one and only! /CHORUS/ Thing we are falling(apart) im just dreaming how does it feel? MY ONE AND ONLY! (x2) Reaching to the sky, when i hear ur voice u are MY ONE AND ONLY! The stars will tell, my heart will tell u, but never enough how much i care u. feeling like stressed, feeling like a mess u are always there MY ONE AND ONLY! /CHORUS/(x1) The pressure the strenght of the dreams broken just another step, ITS destiny!(destiny) /CHORUS/(x1) |
07-14-2009, 01:34 AM | #3 (permalink) | |
Facilitator
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Where people kill 30 million pigs per year
Posts: 2,014
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Hi, sogriter1300,
Your song about the fear that a significant other does not love you (the singer) anymore, and the relief when the singer realizes that the significant other does (at least this is what I think the song expresses), reminds me of several other songs because of certain word choices: You write: "clearly now i see" which is a lot like the famous song line: "I can see clearly now" and there's some song from the 80s I think about someone finally realizing the person in front of him was the one he should have been in love with the whole time (is it a Chicago song? I can't remember). Avoiding common phrases that already exist in other songs can be challenging. I usually try to avoid them (if I know about them), but whether to do that is up to the songwriter...and sometimes it is hard to do this, because no single individual has heard all songs that exist! I do think it is important for the songwriter (you) to know what parts of the song seem like others, so then you can have the choice whether to modify these lines or not. I noticed the song is missing several missing words, so I recommend you check the lyrics over for those: "but never enough how much i care u," for example, is missing the "for" before the u. I've heard a lot of songs about destiny in relationships ("destiny" being in your final line), which is one view of why relationships happen. Since I don't share that view of any relationship, it is hard for me to relate to that sentiment in a song, but I do understand that it must be a common feeling people have when they are in love, and when one does have the feeling it is a nice because it makes one feel that being with the beloved is the right choice. My favorite lines in your song are: Quote:
--Erica Last edited by VEGANGELICA; 07-14-2009 at 01:40 AM. |
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