ricky_lectrik

Hey Everyone! You can call me 'Lectrik! This is my first contributing post and I hope you all enjoy.

Recently in studying some zen koans I came across and interesting style of poetry that was only described as 'Chinese Style'. Of course, this description does the style no justice at all and I have dubbed it a sort of 'Tie-In Verse'. Of course, my description does it no better justice, but it is also not as vague as 'Chinese Style'.

I will start with a sample of the style and break it down from there.

Two daughters of a silk merchant live in Kyoto.
The elder is twenty, the younger, eighteen.
A soldier may kill with his sword.
But these girls slay men with their eyes.

The first line contains the initial phrase, while the second line continues the phrase. The third line is a new subject and the fourth line ties the first three lines together.

As a new songwriter, this style really appealed to me because of the practicality it could be when combined with some newer lyrics and melody.

I hope this gives you a new color on your palette.

Does anyone else no any older lyric styles that would be interesting in modern context? Please share!

On a side note: If anyone can tell me the name of this style of writing, my inner detective would be pleased!

Stone Birds

interesting. hmm i like how your using chinese style, are you making this as a song or poem?

(look at the Song Inspiration Thread it may inspire you)

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simplephysics

That's pretty interesting, and welcome.

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ricky_lectrik

Though it was originally used as a poetry scheme, I would use it in a songwriting sense.

To put my own personal flare into it, I was thinking about setting up a mid-line rhyming scheme as well. I don't want to take away from the free-style versing by rhyming verse 1,3 or 2,4 - but I do want to make it plausible as a hook in song.

Example:

The path, it's dark you'll stumble.
Just do your best to walk straight.
Atlas' struggle, hark his tale.
Both cannot be shrugged.

Not so much for the lyrics, but opinions on the style?

ricky_lectrik

@dreadnaught

Thanks for the welcome!

VEGANGELICA

Hi, Ricky,
Yes, I like the free-style "Chinese style" "Tie-in verse" pattern you are describing, which is interesting conceptually (much like a haiku), but with which I was not familiar before you mentioned it. I also like your midline rhyming scheme because it helps cement the lines together and uses repetition in sound to mirror the conceptual linkage among the lines. I do feel this pattern you describe would be very useful in songs. Thanks for bringing it to my attention!

The only older lyric style that I have used/am using in a song is the sonnet, and so it would be nice to include other structures to give a satisfying connection to the past while involving modern twists. I have always loved poems that rhyme in some way...perhaps because of the mental chess involved in writing them...and so using some sort of structure or form as the basis of a song appeals to me. Since you like chess, I am curious whether this relates to your interest in poetic structure? Also, have you observed much poetic structure in modern music lyrics (with which, to be perfectly honest, I am not very familiar)? The impression I get is that many modern songs lack much traditional structure and are free verse with repetition of free verse fragments.
--Erica