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11-16-2009, 05:09 AM | #21 (permalink) |
Music Addict
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 61
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Schizophrenia
Look into the water,
tell me what you see. A second stranger staring back at me? You can see the fright reflected in my eyes. 'Cuz what you see so confuses me. Confusion takes you over, and it flows to my brain. And we're thinking us over But we two are the same. Schizophrenia we suffer. ----------------------------------------------------------- Simple song, as usual, and no ending. |
11-16-2009, 06:10 AM | #22 (permalink) |
Music Addict
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 61
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The Greatest Game in History!
Sherrin on a football boot
Great men in white shorts The grandest game is fought By the tackle, hand and foot. The game has begun The massive crowd screams Players, by any means Will compete til they've won. The ruck' gets the ball And kicks it to 'fifty Opponents look shifty as the Forward marks and falls The fans shouts encourages And the others all 'Boo!' Forward checks his shoe Then forwards he surges He holds the ball downwards Left arm goes up Pulls his right foot backwards And looks straight up. Staring through goalposts His right arm drops Right leg flies forwards And so does the ball. Sherrin soars high and fast Straight through the posts ----------------------------------------------------------------- Aussie Rules Footy. Best game in the world |
11-22-2009, 08:11 PM | #23 (permalink) | ||
Facilitator
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Where people kill 30 million pigs per year
Posts: 2,014
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Quote:
I decided to comment on this poem because it appeals to me for three reasons: (1) I don't often read poems about Australian football! (2) I didn't know what a sherrin was, and so had to look it up and now know it is a brand of football used in Australian football. (3) I love rhyming poetry and I like the way you have stayed quite closely to a 4-line stanza in which the 1st and 4th lines rhyme. When I see your poem start with quite fixed rhyme scheme (such as abba), I tend to want to see that maintained throughout the poem...unless the relaxation of the rhyme scheme is to represent the frenzied chaos and the excitement of the game taking over the crowd and players! I have never watched an Australian football match, so it was fun to read something written about it by a fan/player. --Erica
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