Nicktarist

"Carnivore" was very good, although I was tempted not to read it because of the name. Sigh. Actually, I personally think it's your best yet. The rhyming at the end made it that much more satisfying to read.

"Sow" is decent. Pretty close to the first etc. You've written better.

Personally, I like this FFFVAL style. It frees up your mind to think. Who said you *had* to write with rules anyway?

peace,
-nick

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VEGANGELICA

Thanks for reading, Nick. For some reason I find myself gravitating right now toward rhyming...but it would be a good exercise for me to at least try writing a song that has some stanzas that use rhyming and some that use free verse.

AwwSugar, I understand what you mean about surrendering everything about the cat! You want a sense of mystery and discovery that gets destroyed if the lyrics simply state what the topic is. Thanks for your feedback.

Below is a song, "Look out," that I wrote over a month ago and have been mulling over. It is one of my strident vegan rhyming songs. I wrote it to address very bluntly the most common reason, "taste," that people (including ovo-lacto vegetarians...now may be the time for our vegan/vegetarian "fight," AwwSugar! ) seem to give for eating animal products. I tried to make the lyrics simple and straightforward with lots of repetition so that they stick in people's brains (if they manage to read the whole thing).

MUSICAL RATING SYSTEM Ranking for "LOOK OUT" is BA for "blatant activism."

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“LOOK OUT” by Erica

(VERSE)
Pop the bubble of your bubblegum ice cream.
Hold the milk from your cappuccino frothing with steam.
Put down your bacon burger and your buttery croissant.
Think of all who suffer for what you want:
the little veal calf locked alone in a stall,
all the creatures you exploit, great and small.
Wake up, wake up from your self-absorbed dream.
Pop the bubble of your bubble gum ice cream.

(CHORUS)
Look out, look out, look out at what you’ve done
by blindly following tradition,
turning sentient beings into tasty treats
though you don’t need dairy, eggs, or meats.
Look out, look out, look out at what you’ve done
by accepting others’ domination
making animals into a commodity
though we don’t need eggs, meat, or dairy.

(VERSE)
Sure, you can eat cows and hogs.
Sure, you can eat cats and dogs.
Sure, you can eat birds and fish.
Sure, you can turn any beast into a dish.
Sure, you can eat whales and dolphins.
Sure, you can even eat humans.
And you’d probably think they all taste good,
but just because you can doesn’t mean you should!

(CHORUS)
So look out, look out, look out at what you’ve done
by blindly following tradition,
turning sentient beings into tasty treats
though you don’t need dairy, eggs, or meats.
Look out, look out, look out at what you’ve done
by accepting others’ domination
making animals into a commodity
though we don’t need eggs, meat, or dairy.

(BRIDGE)
Wants aren’t needs. Wants aren’t needs.
Wisdom concedes wants aren’t needs.
Wants aren’t needs. Wants aren’t needs.
No one needs to make others bleed.

(MUSICAL INTERLUDE)

(VERSE)
Sure, you can eat cows and hogs.
Sure, you can eat turtles and frogs.
Sure, you can eat fish and birds.
Sure, you can eat sheep and goat herds.
Sure, you can eat seals and shark fins.
Sure, you can even eat humans.
And you’d probably think they all taste good,
but just because you can doesn’t mean you should!

(CHORUS)
So, look out, look out, look out at what you’ve done
by blindly following tradition,
turning sentient beings into tasty treats
though you don’t need dairy, eggs, or meats.
Look out, look out, look out at what you’ve done
by accepting others’ domination
making animals into a commodity
though we don’t need eggs, meat, or dairy.

(VERSE)
Pop the bubble of your bubblegum ice cream.
Let the fish swim on in the shimmering stream.
Put down the chicken legs in your shake and bake.
Think of all who suffer for the choices you make:
the dying poultry in cages stretching wall to wall,
all the creatures you exploit, great and small.
Wake up, wake up from your self-absorbed dream.
Pop the bubble of your bubble gum ice cream!

Wake up, wake up from your self-absorbed dream.
Pop the bubble of your bubble gum ice cream!

Wake up, wake up from your self-absorbed dream.
Pop the bubble of your bubble gum ice cream!
Pop the bubble of your bubble gum ice cream!
Pop the bubble of your bubble gum ice cream!

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