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Old 09-07-2009, 05:29 AM   #41 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Rainfall View Post
Title of what?

Pehaps I should extrapolate. For example, one starts every other line with 'your love,' and another starts every other line with 'my love.' It gets a little old, but I know some of the best songs are like this, and I do like 'Her Eyes,' which is like that. It's just hit and miss I guess.
Sorry, my post was pretty ambiguous. I was referring to the thread merging, not the poems.

If someone blindly offloads their poetry into this subforum without interacting with anyone else and without reading the rules which specify that this section mandates one thread per user, I won't think twice about dumping all their posts in one thread and slapping on an amusing title.
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Old 09-07-2009, 04:49 PM   #42 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Lamar Cole View Post
This love runs on emotion.
This love is fueled by devotion.
This love floats on feelings.
Higher than a cathedral ceiling.

This love soars on the breeze of monogamy.
Two hearts in perfect harmony.
This love is you.
This love is me.
Together, forever through eternity.
Hi Lamar,
I see you like rhyming poetry and your topic of being in love with feeling in love continues. One recommendation I have for this poem is, since you are using perfect rhymes at the end of most lines, to also rhyme "feelings" perfectly with the word at the end of the next line.

For example, you could write:

"This love floats on feelings
higher than catheral ceilings"

without sacrificing the meaning yet at the same time making the end words rhyme perfectly. What do you feel about this suggestion? Since your poems deal with the perfect, idealized vision of love, I'd say, I feel it would be appropriate to have all the words at the end of the lines rhyme perfectly as well.

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Originally Posted by Seltzer View Post
Sorry, my post was pretty ambiguous. I was referring to the thread merging, not the poems.

If someone blindly offloads their poetry into this subforum without interacting with anyone else and without reading the rules which specify that this section mandates one thread per user, I won't think twice about dumping all their posts in one thread and slapping on an amusing title.
Oh, Seltzer! So it was *you* who slapped on the amusing title! I was trying to figure out why someone who writes love poems would entitle the thread "Llama's Licentious Lollogies," but it all makes perfect sense now, and the misshapen pieces of the universe have snapped satisfyingly into place!
--Veg
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Old 09-07-2009, 07:30 PM   #43 (permalink)
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The night was made for romance.
In the night our two hearts dance.
Under the stars our lips touch.
In the garden your embrace means so much.

The night was made for love.
Our hearts cooing like a white dove.
Your eyes sparkling like diamonds so white.
I love you darling with all my might.

The night was made for caring and trust.
And darling, God made this night for us.
That would make an awesome Hallmark Greeting Card!
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"it counts in our hearts" ?ºº?
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Old 09-07-2009, 08:08 PM   #44 (permalink)
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Sorry, my post was pretty ambiguous. I was referring to the thread merging, not the poems.

If someone blindly offloads their poetry into this subforum without interacting with anyone else and without reading the rules which specify that this section mandates one thread per user, I won't think twice about dumping all their posts in one thread and slapping on an amusing title.
Ah, I gotcha; I didn't realize it was you who did this. I do like the title lol.

Speaking of which, why is Lamar not responding? He must not even be reading anyone else's posts since he seems oblvious to the fact he is only supposed to have one thread. The least he can do is respond to our critism.
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Old 09-10-2009, 09:57 AM   #45 (permalink)
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Default You
You are the sun.
You are the moon.
You are the happy tunes.
My heart sings in June.

You are the flower.
That blooms in my heart after an april shower.
You are the star that shines so bright.
You are the love that makes my life so right.

You are the wind that blows through my hair.
Your love, like God, I feel everywhere.
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Old 09-10-2009, 01:42 PM   #46 (permalink)
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Michael Jackson - You Are My Life
You are the sun
You make me shine
Or more like the stars
That twinkle at night
You are the moon
That glows in my heart
You're my daytime my nighttime
My world
You are my life



Just saying.
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Old 09-10-2009, 05:58 PM   #47 (permalink)
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Just saying.
Interesting. He DID do a detication to him in one poem.

Of course, there is a predictable formula for most love songs, so there is bound to be overlaps somewhere.
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Old 09-11-2009, 07:31 PM   #48 (permalink)
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Interesting. He DID do a detication to him in one poem.

Of course, there is a predictable formula for most love songs, so there is bound to be overlaps somewhere.
Right. But I wasn't about to give every example of those love songs. =PP

Instead, I quoted the song that played in my head when I read that. haha.
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Old 09-11-2009, 10:33 PM   #49 (permalink)
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Default Your Lips
Like an apple.
Red and delicious.
The answer to my prayers and wishes.

Full of smiles when happy.
A bit of pout when sad.
Full of sweet kisses.
That makes my heart glad.

Full of kind words.
When sometimes I feel gloom.
Full of sweet songs.
That could fill a room.
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Old 09-11-2009, 10:38 PM   #50 (permalink)
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Default Dreams
Some people dream of diamonds.
Some people dream of gold.
But I dream of you love.
Until the night grows cold.

Prayer kept me safe.
Visions of you kept me warm.
Thinking of you through the night.
Secure from harm.

Some people dream of riches.
A whole lot of money.
But I will dream of you always.
My precious honey.
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