Help

WolfShadow · 05-07-2009, 09:03 AM

I'm trying to write a song for my ex girlfriend to apologize for breaking up with her. But I am stuck on my second verse Any help will be greatly appreciated. Here is what I have so far
Thanks,
WolfShadow
I think of you more often then I want to.
Your image burned in my head.
I want to forget, but it's harder
to do then to say.

I love what we had, hate that it ended so bad.
It makes me feel like a monster chained to the bed.

I see you when I'm alone
I see that we could have had more.
I know that what I did was unfair to you
But, trust me I've had my fair share.

~~coryallen2~~ · 05-07-2009, 09:04 AM

Bang her and get it over with...

Guybrush · 05-07-2009, 09:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WolfShadow

I'm trying to write a song for my ex girlfriend to apologize for breaking up with her. But I am stuck on my second verse Any help will be greatly appreciated.

Here's a suggestion :

I broke up because you were kinda slutty
But I'll never do better since I'm not that pretty
At least I won't have to bear your nag
Cause sometimes you're a vicious hag

Soup · 05-07-2009, 09:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WolfShadow

I'm trying to write a song for my ex girlfriend to apologize for breaking up with her. But I am stuck on my second verse Any help will be greatly appreciated. Here is what I have so far
Thanks,
WolfShadow
I think of you more often then I want to.
Your image burned in my head.
I want to forget, but it's harder
to do then to say.

I love what we had, hate that it ended so bad.
It makes me feel like a monster chained to the bed.

I see you when I'm alone
I see that we could have had more.
I know that what I did was unfair to you
But, trust me I've had my fair share.

That doesn't sound good man. None of the words rhyme...I can understand a couple of verses not rhyming..but none of yours do.
Plus they make you look like an emo, and a tool.

I don't think your ex-girlfriend will take you back if she thinks your an emo tool.

Guybrush · 05-07-2009, 10:00 AM

I feel so bad for breaking up with you
I didn't realize I was such an emo tool
If I go on a diet and lose 200 pounds of fat
Could you find it in your heart to take me back?

chard · 05-07-2009, 10:53 AM

Ive a verse for you, just take two feet forward, don't fall back,
its a case of mistaken identity when you told me to pack.
i know i'm limp and unable to satisfy,
though my heart was willing, give me a second try.
All that history now gone to waste,
i am heavy laden missing your taste
i have made a huge, huge mistake.
Call me babe! before i drown in my sorrows,
don't condemn me, call me tomorrow.
I'm changing all the time,
come back to me, say you will be mine.
theres flowers in the post for you my love,
iv'e been struck by lightening from above
I dont want you to think i'm desperate,
just wan't you back my dirty little slut.

WolfShadow · 05-07-2009, 11:57 AM

Yeah, thanks for the help......

~~coryallen2~~ · 05-08-2009, 08:32 AM

We are so mean guys. And Tore I love your song writing work! =P But I think ill actually help this kid.

Guybrush · 05-08-2009, 08:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by coryallen2

But I think ill actually help this kid.

Talk about the blind leading the blind.

jk :p

~~coryallen2~~ · 05-08-2009, 08:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WolfShadow

I'm trying to write a song for my ex girlfriend to apologize for breaking up with her. But I am stuck on my second verse Any help will be greatly appreciated. Here is what I have so far
Thanks,
WolfShadow
I think of you more often then I want to.
Your image burned in my head.
I want to forget, but it's harder
to do then to say.

I love what we had, hate that it ended so bad.
It makes me feel like a monster chained to the bed.

I see you when I'm alone
I see that we could have had more.
I know that what I did was unfair to you
But, trust me I've had my fair share.

But even though I have.
That is no excuse for me treatign you that way.
My love for you is ever existing.
Everytime I think of you my heart starts racing.
I can't get you out of my head.
I wish you were still here next to me
In my bed.

I lay awake in bed.
I can't get you outta my head.

Blah Blah Blah

Kill yourself slut.

05-07-2009, 09:03 AM	#1 (permalink)
WolfShadow Groupie Join Date: May 2009 Location: Near a military base Posts: 2	Help I'm trying to write a song for my ex girlfriend to apologize for breaking up with her. But I am stuck on my second verse Any help will be greatly appreciated. Here is what I have so far Thanks, WolfShadow I think of you more often then I want to. Your image burned in my head. I want to forget, but it's harder to do then to say. I love what we had, hate that it ended so bad. It makes me feel like a monster chained to the bed. I see you when I'm alone I see that we could have had more. I know that what I did was unfair to you But, trust me I've had my fair share.

05-07-2009, 10:00 AM	#5 (permalink)
Guybrush Juicious Maximus III Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Scabb Island Posts: 6,525	I feel so bad for breaking up with you I didn't realize I was such an emo tool If I go on a diet and lose 200 pounds of fat Could you find it in your heart to take me back? __________________ Something Completely Different

05-07-2009, 09:04 AM	#2 (permalink)
~~coryallen2~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: lorain,ohio Posts: 909	Bang her and get it over with...

05-07-2009, 10:53 AM	#6 (permalink)
chard Music Addict Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: england Posts: 390	Ive a verse for you, just take two feet forward, don't fall back, its a case of mistaken identity when you told me to pack. i know i'm limp and unable to satisfy, though my heart was willing, give me a second try. All that history now gone to waste, i am heavy laden missing your taste i have made a huge, huge mistake. Call me babe! before i drown in my sorrows, don't condemn me, call me tomorrow. I'm changing all the time, come back to me, say you will be mine. theres flowers in the post for you my love, iv'e been struck by lightening from above I dont want you to think i'm desperate, just wan't you back my dirty little slut.

05-07-2009, 11:57 AM	#7 (permalink)
WolfShadow Groupie Join Date: May 2009 Location: Near a military base Posts: 2	Yeah, thanks for the help......

05-08-2009, 08:32 AM	#8 (permalink)
~~coryallen2~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: lorain,ohio Posts: 909	We are so mean guys. And Tore I love your song writing work! =P But I think ill actually help this kid.