Jealousy (title, hands, Hang)

333 · 04-30-2009, 03:07 PM

So, I can't stop spitting out these free-writes. I don't know where else to post them.

Jealousy, the lonely, old, bitter woman inside of me, has the ability to strip me naked of all reasonable thoughts. She sneaks up my spine, and spiders her hands around my brain. My eyes slowly fill with green. Occasionally, a slight glimpse of who I was before appears as a glint in my eye, but from here on, I am nobody. The consumption of my soul along with my body in this tornado of jealousy traps my senses - to feel, to love, to be. I insensibly scream and shout emotions that do not exist beyond my green view and let myself love to hate. I expose this part of myself and surrender to this form of human behavior, for how else will I begin this very intricate process of change?

Arya Stark · 05-01-2009, 06:12 PM

Honestly, I like it. But the beginning throw me off, and the only reason I continued to read is because I didn't want to give up too easily. It could be blamed on the fact that the first word is also the title. But sometimes that works. It just didn't work for me here. Well done.

04-30-2009, 03:07 PM	#1 (permalink)
333 Music Addict Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 965	Jealousy So, I can't stop spitting out these free-writes. I don't know where else to post them. Jealousy, the lonely, old, bitter woman inside of me, has the ability to strip me naked of all reasonable thoughts. She sneaks up my spine, and spiders her hands around my brain. My eyes slowly fill with green. Occasionally, a slight glimpse of who I was before appears as a glint in my eye, but from here on, I am nobody. The consumption of my soul along with my body in this tornado of jealousy traps my senses - to feel, to love, to be. I insensibly scream and shout emotions that do not exist beyond my green view and let myself love to hate. I expose this part of myself and surrender to this form of human behavior, for how else will I begin this very intricate process of change?