Stone Birds' Songwriting Journal

Stone Birds · 05-18-2009, 04:24 PM

I watch hallowed birds fly
I Watch them die
But the sky is afraid of the devil
And the devil is afraid of the sky
He is too dark and cold

So when the feathered souls find their way
Will they still come back in may
Cause when I try to fly like them
I fall, I fall like a rock
And when I try to enlighten them
I feel, I feel so f**ked

Kin of the dead
Make my hands red
Cause when the fire
Burns the liars
We’ll all be gone

I have feathers on my spine
Cause I don’t follow the line
So I shine, So I shine

Stone Birds · 05-18-2009, 04:27 PM

Run…
Run…
Run…

A bowl of shadows
With binding lights
That Trap in the night
When
The skeleton walks with limp

Run…

A creepy little flame
Stuck in the same game
That you’re in
You try to escape
Reality

Run…

A broken old cross
Stands with a
A disease
That brings you to
your knees

(Instrumental Section)

Run…

A pack of wolves
Tear at your skin
As punishment
For your sins

This is how it traps it’s prey
This is how it traps it’s prey
This is how it traps it’s prey

Run…

A place to escape
The world that we hate
Come with me
Come with me

Run…

To a new world
We’ve always had
But could never
See it
It won’t trap us here

Stone Birds · 05-18-2009, 04:33 PM

God layed down his hands
so you could touch
you were never fast enough

So you hid yourself behind the wall
got drunk off it all

and then September came
with all its war and fame
you came out, to protest

God layed down his hands
so you could touch
but you gave up

So Radical and extremist
the cops came
to disperse
you bursted in flames
in this verse

god layed down his hands
so you could touch
He grabbed your heart
and took you up

Stone Birds · 05-18-2009, 04:36 PM

The city burns away
The day has fallen

Turn the dial
Wash away
Too many years
Spent in pain
Let them go

Call her name (x6)

Tears fall
Guns fire
Bombs explode
The happiness expires
Run, Run, Run away

She held her kewpie doll to her chest
She was shot (x3) dead
The kewpie doll
Fell to the ground
Stained with the blood
Of the innocent girl

Let me ask you
Whose heart, whose heart, could be that cold, that cold (x2)

Call her name (x6)

The blood
Has been shed
The mother
Does not know (x3)

The little girl (x3)

Call Her name (x6)

The Repition works more like an echo in this song

Stone Birds · 05-20-2009, 01:06 PM

I feel like I’m trapped underwater
About to drown
Any second now
I feel like I’m falling
almost to hit the ground
any second now
I’ll go insane
Maybe I already am
They say knowledge is key
But I think its killin me
I feel distant
Even right next to her
I want to jump
What’s holdin me back
You don’t see
Behind this face
Lies something I can’t explain

I want to sleep forever (x3)
Where I’ll be free
To believe
In anything I want
I can believe
That the world is peaceful
I can believe
That there’s love all around
I can believe
That my music is cherished
I want to sleep forever

She doesn’t see
How I truly feel
She doesn’t know
How much I can see
Her soul
I’d only wake up for her
I want to sleep forever
And listen to her voice
I want to sleep forever

The Coma (x4)
I want to sleep forever (x2)

The Coma (x2)
I want to sleep forever (x2)
The Coma (x2)
I want to sleep forever (x2)

She draws another cross
While I write her another song
One church
One story
One name that you’ll never guess
I’ll keep myself locked
I give her the key
Please find me (x2)

The Coma (x4)

This is emo-folk

Stone Birds · 05-20-2009, 01:14 PM

As some of you may know I'm part of a youth ministry band (part-time), and to bring in some creativity i wrote my first worship song (for those of you who think i hate Christians, you're sadly mistaken, i just dislike the ones that try to FORCE their beliefs on to you) please tell me what you think. also i kinda need guitar & bass for this, so if you guys could help out that'd be great.

I got caught up in the holy fire
That rains, rains upon your name
That rains, rains upon your name

Your Embers fall like shooting stars
I shall worship you for your fire keeps me warm
And your light, your light keeps me strong

and From the sky you have reigned
Healing wounds of our pain
And with my heart I will say

Bring Upon your embers
Bring Upon your Name
Bring upon the holy fire of your fame

v1, v2, bridge/v3, chorus, v1, chorus, bridge/v3, chorus

If this needs rearrangement please tell me (first four are in order of the lyrics)

Nicktarist · 05-20-2009, 05:16 PM

Wow, I see improvement with each song. Very good. Are there any songs in particular you want me to critique?

peace,
-nick

Stone Birds · 05-20-2009, 05:18 PM

Embers

Nicktarist · 05-20-2009, 06:13 PM

In reference to your lyrics they look similar to Fire Fall Down by Hillsong United. The only thing I would say is that your metaphor needs to be much, much more grand. I would also say that your lyrics need to be more of a conversation-- most worship songs generally consist of a question, a comparison, and an answer to that question. The hard part though is finding a balance between understandabillity and artistry. Your still leaning to the vague side. Worship songs need to be more descernible.

Some good artists to look at for worship musc are Derek Webb, Sandra McKraken (his wife), and obviously some more obscure names like Andy Gullahorn (who is actually good at writing worship songs when he does-- he also sounds allot Jose Gonzolez)

So, my point is that your point needs to come off more obviously than it is and also be much more grand. You should also avoid using overused metaphors. If God can be described with many metaphors, most people sure aren't exploring those descriptions.

I hope that's more along the lines of what you were looking for.

Stone Birds · 05-21-2009, 08:00 AM

I think the verse that bugs me the most is the second, but i'm not sure how to change it.

05-18-2009, 04:24 PM	#31 (permalink)
Stone Birds myspace.com/stonebirdies Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Conor Oberst Was/is Here Posts: 1,401	Feathers On My Spine I watch hallowed birds fly I Watch them die But the sky is afraid of the devil And the devil is afraid of the sky He is too dark and cold So when the feathered souls find their way Will they still come back in may Cause when I try to fly like them I fall, I fall like a rock And when I try to enlighten them I feel, I feel so f*ked Kin of the dead Make my hands red Cause when the fire Burns the liars We’ll all be gone I have feathers on my spine Cause I don’t follow the line So I shine, So I shine __________________ Silk & Tree Records //\\//\\/\\/\/\/\\\\\\\\///\/\/\/\/\\////\/\\\\\///\V //\\//\\/\\/\/\/\\\\\\\\///\/\/\/\/\\////\/\\\\\///\V soundcloud.com/stonebirds [Link removed by mod, no advertising] ... Damn those mods are always gettin ya :) Last edited by Stone Birds; 06-10-2009 at 02:40 PM.*

05-18-2009, 04:27 PM	#32 (permalink)
Stone Birds myspace.com/stonebirdies Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Conor Oberst Was/is Here Posts: 1,401	How It Traps It's Prey Run… Run… Run… A bowl of shadows With binding lights That Trap in the night When The skeleton walks with limp Run… A creepy little flame Stuck in the same game That you’re in You try to escape Reality Run… A broken old cross Stands with a A disease That brings you to your knees (Instrumental Section) Run… A pack of wolves Tear at your skin As punishment For your sins This is how it traps it’s prey This is how it traps it’s prey This is how it traps it’s prey Run… A place to escape The world that we hate Come with me Come with me Run… To a new world We’ve always had But could never See it It won’t trap us here __________________ Silk & Tree Records //\\//\\/\\/\/\/\\\\\\\\///\/\/\/\/\\////\/\\\\\///\V //\\//\\/\\/\/\/\\\\\\\\///\/\/\/\/\\////\/\\\\\///\V soundcloud.com/stonebirds [Link removed by mod, no advertising] ... Damn those mods are always gettin ya :)

05-18-2009, 04:33 PM	#33 (permalink)
Stone Birds myspace.com/stonebirdies Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Conor Oberst Was/is Here Posts: 1,401	The Protester God layed down his hands so you could touch you were never fast enough So you hid yourself behind the wall got drunk off it all and then September came with all its war and fame you came out, to protest God layed down his hands so you could touch but you gave up So Radical and extremist the cops came to disperse you bursted in flames in this verse god layed down his hands so you could touch He grabbed your heart and took you up __________________ Silk & Tree Records //\\//\\/\\/\/\/\\\\\\\\///\/\/\/\/\\////\/\\\\\///\V //\\//\\/\\/\/\/\\\\\\\\///\/\/\/\/\\////\/\\\\\///\V soundcloud.com/stonebirds [Link removed by mod, no advertising] ... Damn those mods are always gettin ya :)

05-18-2009, 04:36 PM	#34 (permalink)
Stone Birds myspace.com/stonebirdies Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Conor Oberst Was/is Here Posts: 1,401	Kewpie Doll The city burns away The day has fallen Turn the dial Wash away Too many years Spent in pain Let them go Call her name (x6) Tears fall Guns fire Bombs explode The happiness expires Run, Run, Run away She held her kewpie doll to her chest She was shot (x3) dead The kewpie doll Fell to the ground Stained with the blood Of the innocent girl Let me ask you Whose heart, whose heart, could be that cold, that cold (x2) Call her name (x6) The blood Has been shed The mother Does not know (x3) The little girl (x3) Call Her name (x6) The Repition works more like an echo in this song __________________ Silk & Tree Records //\\//\\/\\/\/\/\\\\\\\\///\/\/\/\/\\////\/\\\\\///\V //\\//\\/\\/\/\/\\\\\\\\///\/\/\/\/\\////\/\\\\\///\V soundcloud.com/stonebirds [Link removed by mod, no advertising] ... Damn those mods are always gettin ya :)

05-20-2009, 01:06 PM	#35 (permalink)
Stone Birds myspace.com/stonebirdies Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Conor Oberst Was/is Here Posts: 1,401	Coma I feel like I’m trapped underwater About to drown Any second now I feel like I’m falling almost to hit the ground any second now I’ll go insane Maybe I already am They say knowledge is key But I think its killin me I feel distant Even right next to her I want to jump What’s holdin me back You don’t see Behind this face Lies something I can’t explain I want to sleep forever (x3) Where I’ll be free To believe In anything I want I can believe That the world is peaceful I can believe That there’s love all around I can believe That my music is cherished I want to sleep forever She doesn’t see How I truly feel She doesn’t know How much I can see Her soul I’d only wake up for her I want to sleep forever And listen to her voice I want to sleep forever The Coma (x4) I want to sleep forever (x2) The Coma (x2) I want to sleep forever (x2) The Coma (x2) I want to sleep forever (x2) She draws another cross While I write her another song One church One story One name that you’ll never guess I’ll keep myself locked I give her the key Please find me (x2) The Coma (x4) This is emo-folk __________________ Silk & Tree Records //\\//\\/\\/\/\/\\\\\\\\///\/\/\/\/\\////\/\\\\\///\V //\\//\\/\\/\/\/\\\\\\\\///\/\/\/\/\\////\/\\\\\///\V soundcloud.com/stonebirds [Link removed by mod, no advertising] ... Damn those mods are always gettin ya :)

05-20-2009, 01:14 PM	#36 (permalink)
Stone Birds myspace.com/stonebirdies Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Conor Oberst Was/is Here Posts: 1,401	Embers As some of you may know I'm part of a youth ministry band (part-time), and to bring in some creativity i wrote my first worship song (for those of you who think i hate Christians, you're sadly mistaken, i just dislike the ones that try to FORCE their beliefs on to you) please tell me what you think. also i kinda need guitar & bass for this, so if you guys could help out that'd be great. I got caught up in the holy fire That rains, rains upon your name That rains, rains upon your name Your Embers fall like shooting stars I shall worship you for your fire keeps me warm And your light, your light keeps me strong and From the sky you have reigned Healing wounds of our pain And with my heart I will say Bring Upon your embers Bring Upon your Name Bring upon the holy fire of your fame v1, v2, bridge/v3, chorus, v1, chorus, bridge/v3, chorus If this needs rearrangement please tell me (first four are in order of the lyrics) __________________ Silk & Tree Records //\\//\\/\\/\/\/\\\\\\\\///\/\/\/\/\\////\/\\\\\///\V //\\//\\/\\/\/\/\\\\\\\\///\/\/\/\/\\////\/\\\\\///\V soundcloud.com/stonebirds [Link removed by mod, no advertising] ... Damn those mods are always gettin ya :) Last edited by Stone Birds; 05-20-2009 at 01:16 PM. Reason: Title missing

05-20-2009, 05:16 PM	#37 (permalink)
Nicktarist young gun funyun Join Date: May 2009 Location: Southern US Posts: 166	Wow, I see improvement with each song. Very good. Are there any songs in particular you want me to critique? peace, -nick

05-20-2009, 05:18 PM	#38 (permalink)
Stone Birds myspace.com/stonebirdies Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Conor Oberst Was/is Here Posts: 1,401	Embers __________________ Silk & Tree Records //\\//\\/\\/\/\/\\\\\\\\///\/\/\/\/\\////\/\\\\\///\V //\\//\\/\\/\/\/\\\\\\\\///\/\/\/\/\\////\/\\\\\///\V soundcloud.com/stonebirds [Link removed by mod, no advertising] ... Damn those mods are always gettin ya :)

05-20-2009, 06:13 PM	#39 (permalink)
Nicktarist young gun funyun Join Date: May 2009 Location: Southern US Posts: 166	In reference to your lyrics they look similar to Fire Fall Down by Hillsong United. The only thing I would say is that your metaphor needs to be much, much more grand. I would also say that your lyrics need to be more of a conversation-- most worship songs generally consist of a question, a comparison, and an answer to that question. The hard part though is finding a balance between understandabillity and artistry. Your still leaning to the vague side. Worship songs need to be more descernible. Some good artists to look at for worship musc are Derek Webb, Sandra McKraken (his wife), and obviously some more obscure names like Andy Gullahorn (who is actually good at writing worship songs when he does-- he also sounds allot Jose Gonzolez) So, my point is that your point needs to come off more obviously than it is and also be much more grand. You should also avoid using overused metaphors. If God can be described with many metaphors, most people sure aren't exploring those descriptions. I hope that's more along the lines of what you were looking for.

05-21-2009, 08:00 AM	#40 (permalink)
Stone Birds myspace.com/stonebirdies Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Conor Oberst Was/is Here Posts: 1,401	I think the verse that bugs me the most is the second, but i'm not sure how to change it. __________________ Silk & Tree Records //\\//\\/\\/\/\/\\\\\\\\///\/\/\/\/\\////\/\\\\\///\V //\\//\\/\\/\/\/\\\\\\\\///\/\/\/\/\\////\/\\\\\///\V soundcloud.com/stonebirds [Link removed by mod, no advertising] ... Damn those mods are always gettin ya :)