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Old 09-03-2009, 07:11 PM   #101 (permalink)
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did you click the "Vote For Me" Button on the website?
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Old 09-03-2009, 07:12 PM   #102 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stone Birds View Post
did you click the "Vote For Me" Button on the website?
Sure did!
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Old 10-08-2009, 12:05 AM   #103 (permalink)
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Default Battlefield

I currently have just a chorus but it's coming along
on the battlefield
we're just waitin for blood
cause we're just dogs
cause we're just dogs
Ideas, tips, comments, love, hate?
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Old 10-08-2009, 11:45 AM   #104 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stone Birds View Post
I currently have just a chorus but it's coming along
on the battlefield
we're just waitin for blood
cause we're just dogs
cause we're just dogs
Ideas, tips, comments, love, hate?
Hi Stone Birds! It's been a while since I've "seen" you here!

One comment: when I imagine a battlefield, I don't imagine anyone waiting. On the *way* to the battlefield, people may be waiting for or eager for blood. Once on the battlefield, I imagine people actively hungering for blood and slaughtering others to make their blood flow. "Waiting" sounds very passive.

Second comment: Humans are actually quite a bit like packs of dogs, only scarier. I would say humans are worse than dogs.
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If a chicken was smart enough to be able to speak English and run in a geometric pattern, then I think it should be smart enough to dial 911 (999) before getting the axe, and scream to the operator, "Something must be done! Something must be done!"
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Old 10-08-2009, 03:13 PM   #105 (permalink)
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Quote:
Second comment: Humans are actually quite a bit like packs of dogs, only scarier. I would say humans are worse than dogs.
And wild hogs are worse than both, other than that I agree with your post.

peace,
-nick
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Old 12-08-2009, 04:35 PM   #106 (permalink)
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have any of you heard of filter magazine? probably
well they're having this clip contest (in voting period)
and i submitted, so check them out and maybe (PLEASE!!!) vote for me...

Flurry - Jake Hansen's Filter Magazine Clips Challenge Submission - Indaba Music R&B song without losing my style

Silver Tears - Jake Hansen's Filter Magazine Clips Challenge Submission - Indaba Music House song, so unique to what i usually do, i made an entirely new project Shades of Maroon

Cloud - Jake Hansen's Filter Magazine Clips Challenge Submission - Indaba Music after making it it reminded me of volcano choir, except not as good

Patricia - Jake Hansen's Filter Magazine Clips Challenge Submission - Indaba Music Emo house song, under Shades of Maroon name

the links are not the same
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Old 12-22-2009, 11:47 PM   #107 (permalink)
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i'm releasing a new full-length (self-titled) album
it will be on itunes next week
more info tomorrow.
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Old 07-07-2010, 11:00 AM   #108 (permalink)
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holy crap it's been forever since i've used this thread i literally have over 50 songlyrics that've never been posted here
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Old 07-16-2010, 08:58 PM   #109 (permalink)
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Default "Saviour"

take it all away from me
i can't stand the sight of this
the movements are so out of mind
and i'm just too aligned

oh my dear
i'm lost in the woods
oh my love
i've got no signal

i've got no compass to point me home
but i hear you from around the bend

oh my dear
i'm lost in the woods
oh my love
i've got no signal

(oh thank go, oh thank god you found me)
may i lay in your arms
i almost gave up
i'm so glad you found me

you are no god but you're my saviour

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Old 07-21-2010, 02:48 PM   #110 (permalink)
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I really like it as a piece of poetry, but I think it is a little too much "pure poetry" for a song. Poetry lets your mind fill in the empty blanks, but song writing needs a little more information in between to help it flow. For example (We cross our hands, a shadowy figure) I think there is too big of a gap in between the subject matter. A way to make it flow better could go something like this.....As we crossed hands we gazed upon cascading shadows lit by the amber sun. Thats just off the top of my head but I'm not trying to criticize, just trying to open your mind a little bit.
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