paradoxy's Songwriting Journal (band, song)

paradoxy · 03-18-2009, 11:44 AM

I try to speak, but you don't hear,
You're far away, although you're near,
The words get tangled on the way,
And you hear things I did not say …

Crossed wires
Why is it so hard to make you hear?
Crossfire
A battle-zone where meanings are unclear.

Crossed wires
You mistake everything I say,
Crossfire
And you're driving me away…

You can’t believe the good of my intent,
My energy is all but spent,
And every time I try to speak,
The effort leaves me drained and weak.

Crossed wires
You are the lover of my heart!
Crossfire
Why must these words drive us apart?

Crossed wires
I wish that I could make you hear…
Crossfire
But instead I sit in tears….

Crossfire

I want to pull you close to me,
Open your eyes so you will see,
That all I want for you is bliss,
But every time I try I miss…

Crossed wires
If only you could see my heart,
Crossfire
Then words could never make us part,

Crossed wires
Then we could fly up to the sun,
Crossfire
And forever be as one.

chard · 03-18-2009, 05:58 PM

youve hit something thats so true.
Nice one.

darkcornerinthecloset · 03-18-2009, 07:35 PM

i like your repetition, especially for "crossfire," that's a good analogy

paradoxy · 03-18-2009, 08:49 PM

Thank you both ever so much...it is good to hear some positive feedback from people who have some knowledge of the topic. I appreciate you taking the time to read and respond.

Paradoxy
Ancient Gods

Freebase Dali · 03-18-2009, 08:56 PM

I like it.
Seems more of a song than a poetic work though.

I dunno about the word "crossfire" though. It makes me think of that stupid game from back in the early 90's. Which inevitably makes me think of Hungry Hungry Hippos, which also pisses me off.
That's just me tho.

paradoxy · 03-18-2009, 09:04 PM

Thank you Veridical Fiction..it was originally written to be a song...good call there.
God, hungry hippos? (cry)...I used the word crossfire, because sometimes I feel like trying to communicate, when it is not going well, is a lot like getting stuck between two lines of gunfire...both party's are firing things off with no awareness of each other, or who might be caught in the middle. Hungry hippos tho...god, such a ...ridiculous... image to have evoked..... although, possibly appropriate. It does seem in conversation that people are often out to grab the most bites..attention...and have little interest in actually absorbing what others are saying.

paradoxy · 03-19-2009, 10:30 AM

Song of the Faerie

There was a fearie maidin come,
From the mountain high~
She stooped don be a gleaming mere
As the sun swooped down to die.

As the moon spilled silver down upon
This enchanting lass,
A fell shade hid he gentle light,
Clouding the sacred glass.

The maiden saw a mushroom flame
Shine forth in the night,
It spread its fire o're all the world,
While man hid his face in fright.

The glow receded, man was gone;
Vanished from the earth~
Sweeping all of nature into death
With no hope of rebirth..

The vision blurred, and sank away:
The girl wept with pain~
Her heart was pierced through by the thought
That life would never rise again...

She cried aloud th mother earth,
To the moon she called...
What could she do to break this curse?
'Could this fate be eased at all?

"The task is hard", whispered the moon,
The earth echoed her fear.
"If you would save man from himself,
You wil have to make him hear".

"Go tell him of the death that comes,
Cresting on the wake,
Of his proud grasping, and perhaps,
His voilent lust will slake"

The faerie left her peaceful world,
Seeking that of man~
To tell him of the awful fire
That would blossom from his hand.

The faerie sings, man listenes not...
Will you heed her call?
Stop playing with the fires of death
E're your playthings burn us all...

Terrible Lizard · 03-19-2009, 10:36 AM

Throw some rape in and it will sound like Comus.
Impressive to say the least.

paradoxy · 03-19-2009, 01:30 PM

By Comus, did you mean the god, or the band? lol

darkcornerinthecloset · 03-19-2009, 07:40 PM

when i heard "crossfire" i thought about trench warfare WW1

03-18-2009, 11:44 AM	#1 (permalink)
paradoxy Groupie Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Slocan, B.C., Canada Posts: 14	If you have a minute, some feedback would be most welcome I try to speak, but you don't hear, You're far away, although you're near, The words get tangled on the way, And you hear things I did not say … Crossed wires Why is it so hard to make you hear? Crossfire A battle-zone where meanings are unclear. Crossed wires You mistake everything I say, Crossfire And you're driving me away… You can’t believe the good of my intent, My energy is all but spent, And every time I try to speak, The effort leaves me drained and weak. Crossed wires You are the lover of my heart! Crossfire Why must these words drive us apart? Crossed wires I wish that I could make you hear… Crossfire But instead I sit in tears…. Crossfire I want to pull you close to me, Open your eyes so you will see, That all I want for you is bliss, But every time I try I miss… Crossed wires If only you could see my heart, Crossfire Then words could never make us part, Crossed wires Then we could fly up to the sun, Crossfire And forever be as one.

03-18-2009, 07:35 PM	#3 (permalink)
darkcornerinthecloset Music Addict Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Rochester, NY Posts: 160	i like your repetition, especially for "crossfire," that's a good analogy __________________ If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction.

03-18-2009, 08:56 PM	#5 (permalink)
Freebase Dali Partying on the inside Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 5,584	I like it. Seems more of a song than a poetic work though. I dunno about the word "crossfire" though. It makes me think of that stupid game from back in the early 90's. Which inevitably makes me think of Hungry Hungry Hippos, which also pisses me off. That's just me tho. __________________

03-19-2009, 10:30 AM	#7 (permalink)
paradoxy Groupie Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Slocan, B.C., Canada Posts: 14	paradoxy's Songwriting Journal Song of the Faerie There was a fearie maidin come, From the mountain high~ She stooped don be a gleaming mere As the sun swooped down to die. As the moon spilled silver down upon This enchanting lass, A fell shade hid he gentle light, Clouding the sacred glass. The maiden saw a mushroom flame Shine forth in the night, It spread its fire o're all the world, While man hid his face in fright. The glow receded, man was gone; Vanished from the earth~ Sweeping all of nature into death With no hope of rebirth.. The vision blurred, and sank away: The girl wept with pain~ Her heart was pierced through by the thought That life would never rise again... She cried aloud th mother earth, To the moon she called... What could she do to break this curse? 'Could this fate be eased at all? "The task is hard", whispered the moon, The earth echoed her fear. "If you would save man from himself, You wil have to make him hear". "Go tell him of the death that comes, Cresting on the wake, Of his proud grasping, and perhaps, His voilent lust will slake" The faerie left her peaceful world, Seeking that of man~ To tell him of the awful fire That would blossom from his hand. The faerie sings, man listenes not... Will you heed her call? Stop playing with the fires of death E're your playthings burn us all...

03-19-2009, 10:36 AM	#8 (permalink)
Terrible Lizard **ER OF HOLES Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Butt**, Nebraska Posts: 1,211	Throw some rape in and it will sound like Comus. Impressive to say the least. __________________ “YOU ARE SCUM SLUT.” -John Martyn

03-18-2009, 05:58 PM	#2 (permalink)
chard Music Addict Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: england Posts: 390	youve hit something thats so true. Nice one.

03-18-2009, 08:49 PM	#4 (permalink)
paradoxy Groupie Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Slocan, B.C., Canada Posts: 14	Thank you both ever so much...it is good to hear some positive feedback from people who have some knowledge of the topic. I appreciate you taking the time to read and respond. Paradoxy Ancient Gods

03-18-2009, 09:04 PM	#6 (permalink)
paradoxy Groupie Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Slocan, B.C., Canada Posts: 14	Thank you Veridical Fiction..it was originally written to be a song...good call there. God, hungry hippos? (cry)...I used the word crossfire, because sometimes I feel like trying to communicate, when it is not going well, is a lot like getting stuck between two lines of gunfire...both party's are firing things off with no awareness of each other, or who might be caught in the middle. Hungry hippos tho...god, such a ...ridiculous... image to have evoked..... although, possibly appropriate. It does seem in conversation that people are often out to grab the most bites..attention...and have little interest in actually absorbing what others are saying.

03-19-2009, 01:30 PM	#9 (permalink)
paradoxy Groupie Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Slocan, B.C., Canada Posts: 14	By Comus, did you mean the god, or the band? lol

03-19-2009, 07:40 PM	#10 (permalink)
darkcornerinthecloset Music Addict Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Rochester, NY Posts: 160	when i heard "crossfire" i thought about trench warfare WW1 __________________ If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction.