My most recent poem (quote)

Freebase Dali · 03-11-2009, 05:35 PM

I understand your point of view.
I used to write dark poetry that ended as dark as it began, but eventually I began finding an admirable human quality in the ability to overcome. A tragedy is never told in first-person, but when someone comes close to a tragedy and pulls through, that person can shine a light in the darkness of his/her soul and speak of a process that is learned by trial and error, and it can ultimately help others who're in the same position.

If there's one thing I've learned from doing anything that requires a gift of creativity, be it music, poetry, art, etc... It's that unless you're sharing it with others in a way that benefits both parties, then it's a selfish waste.
It took me a long time to learn that.
When I finally did, I found a deeper reason in doing the things I do. I was no longer doing things for myself only, but benefiting others in the process.

Ultimately, that's the only thing you leave as a legacy when you're dead and gone.

darkcornerinthecloset · 03-13-2009, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Veridical Fiction

I understand your point of view.
I used to write dark poetry that ended as dark as it began, but eventually I began finding an admirable human quality in the ability to overcome. A tragedy is never told in first-person, but when someone comes close to a tragedy and pulls through, that person can shine a light in the darkness of his/her soul and speak of a process that is learned by trial and error, and it can ultimately help others who're in the same position.

If there's one thing I've learned from doing anything that requires a gift of creativity, be it music, poetry, art, etc... It's that unless you're sharing it with others in a way that benefits both parties, then it's a selfish waste.
It took me a long time to learn that.
When I finally did, I found a deeper reason in doing the things I do. I was no longer doing things for myself only, but benefiting others in the process.

Ultimately, that's the only thing you leave as a legacy when you're dead and gone.

fukking brilliant!

Arya Stark · 03-14-2009, 12:13 PM

Honestly, there are times I knew what was going on... but there were completely overshadowed by the times when I was so confused, I skipped the stanza.

I think I was primarily thrown off by the title.

Schizotypic · 03-14-2009, 12:55 PM

Here, xxawwxsugarxx, and everyone; now you can understand what the heck I was trying and failed to do. Not that failing is a bad thing IMO, just means I can get better. Would love any suggestions.Before you read, think of it as a story, a progression of events told about Him by an omniscient narrator.

His Terminal Monomania Having an obsession that kills you
A content comatose A happy, vegatative state (being too high to really be considered alive)
He is dying to obtain Dying = wanting, and literally dying

Searching for cause He searches for why
There is no reason To him, there is no reason

His closer allies, His friends
His beautiful value And his self-worth
Fades away and atrophies Because he is not using them, like a muscle, atrophy. They melt away, he doesn't have them anymore.

His desire and his decay His desire for the vegatative state (which he clearly puts over everything) and his decay (his slowly dying)
Unwilling to surrender him They have power over him and will not let go.
Have intercourse and multiply This line says a few things: His Desire and his Decay are related to each other, and effect each other. They work together to kill him and are lovers. Also, their synergistic (make each other more powerful), and they will not surrender him, and they multiplied (it's getting worse), and now he's fukked.

He ascends upward A metaphor for him getting worse and worse
to a miserable bliss Drugs are very polar (oposite), so this is where he is. miserable in life, blissful in being high
on pink fluffy clouds He is finally there, he actually reached it, where he wanted to be from the start of the story. He's in a content comatose, on pink fluffy clouds, constantly high, doesn't have to live, etc.

Expended relations, He spent all his friends, family, etc.
and traded possessions He has nothing but drugs.
He observes the milieu, This line is Ironic, because here he is finally where he wanted to be the entire time, and he observes the milieu (milieu meaning environment)...
Felo-de-se Felo-de-se is a person who kills himself intentionally. He finally got there, looked around, noticed he had nothing, and killed himself. Ironic.

In that minute In the minute that he died.
The world had lost People living in the real world
His carnal remains Canral, meaning of or relating to the body or flesh, and remains being the left overs- I'm saying they only lost the physical left over to this guy and that he had mentaly and emotionally died long before.

Arya Stark · 03-14-2009, 01:01 PM

=\

When I write a poem, I can never explain it that clearly. That usually tells me that I did an alright job. >.<

Schizotypic · 03-14-2009, 01:05 PM

When I write, I write a paragraph on what I want to vent and then I make a list of all the characters, possible metaphors, structure, etc. Then I write. Takes some time, and usually ends-up too vague. I'm still working on figuring out my style, I don't think the above is it. I want to figure out a way to make it artistic, beautiful and simple at the same time. A good challenge, still working on it.
How does not being able to explain your own peom mean you did a good job?

Arya Stark · 03-14-2009, 01:16 PM

Goodness.

I suppose I'm more spontaneous with my writing unless I feel something and decide to write something about it.

Not being able to explain my poetry means that I was caught completely in the moment. It means that there was nothing planned, I spilled the feelings I felt without thinking ahead.

I suppose it's a weird way to interpret it.

TheBig3 · 03-14-2009, 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Schizotypic

^ I wish I could figure out a way to change that.

well what is this about?

Schizotypic · 03-14-2009, 01:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheBig3KilledMyRainDog

well what is this about?

I was sitting there one day with a huge craving to get really ****ed-up, and I decided to go off on that. It ended-up being about a look at the progression of desire for wanting to be completey gone and the consequences of that.

I tried writing a simplier version of this that said things just plainly, but it was harder to capture enough feeling in that. I'm still working on it. Baby steps.

TheBig3 · 03-14-2009, 04:27 PM

So its a "poem" about wanting to get ****ed up?

03-14-2009, 04:27 PM	#30 (permalink)
TheBig3 killedmyraindog Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Boston, Massachusetts Posts: 11,172	So its a "poem" about wanting to get ****ed up? __________________ I've moved to a new address

03-11-2009, 05:35 PM	#21 (permalink)
Freebase Dali Partying on the inside Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 5,584	I understand your point of view. I used to write dark poetry that ended as dark as it began, but eventually I began finding an admirable human quality in the ability to overcome. A tragedy is never told in first-person, but when someone comes close to a tragedy and pulls through, that person can shine a light in the darkness of his/her soul and speak of a process that is learned by trial and error, and it can ultimately help others who're in the same position. If there's one thing I've learned from doing anything that requires a gift of creativity, be it music, poetry, art, etc... It's that unless you're sharing it with others in a way that benefits both parties, then it's a selfish waste. It took me a long time to learn that. When I finally did, I found a deeper reason in doing the things I do. I was no longer doing things for myself only, but benefiting others in the process. Ultimately, that's the only thing you leave as a legacy when you're dead and gone.

03-14-2009, 12:13 PM	#23 (permalink)
Arya Stark "Hermione-Lite" Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: New York. Posts: 3,084	Honestly, there are times I knew what was going on... but there were completely overshadowed by the times when I was so confused, I skipped the stanza. I think I was primarily thrown off by the title.

03-14-2009, 12:55 PM	#24 (permalink)
Schizotypic Souls of Sound Sailors Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Mojave Posts: 759	Here, xxawwxsugarxx, and everyone; now you can understand what the heck I was trying and failed to do. Not that failing is a bad thing IMO, just means I can get better. Would love any suggestions.Before you read, think of it as a story, a progression of events told about Him by an omniscient narrator. His Terminal Monomania Having an obsession that kills you A content comatose A happy, vegatative state (being too high to really be considered alive) He is dying to obtain Dying = wanting, and literally dying Searching for cause He searches for why There is no reason To him, there is no reason His closer allies, His friends His beautiful value And his self-worth Fades away and atrophies Because he is not using them, like a muscle, atrophy. They melt away, he doesn't have them anymore. His desire and his decay His desire for the vegatative state (which he clearly puts over everything) and his decay (his slowly dying) Unwilling to surrender him They have power over him and will not let go. Have intercourse and multiply This line says a few things: His Desire and his Decay are related to each other, and effect each other. They work together to kill him and are lovers. Also, their synergistic (make each other more powerful), and they will not surrender him, and they multiplied (it's getting worse), and now he's fukked. He ascends upward A metaphor for him getting worse and worse to a miserable bliss Drugs are very polar (oposite), so this is where he is. miserable in life, blissful in being high on pink fluffy clouds He is finally there, he actually reached it, where he wanted to be from the start of the story. He's in a content comatose, on pink fluffy clouds, constantly high, doesn't have to live, etc. Expended relations, He spent all his friends, family, etc. and traded possessions He has nothing but drugs. He observes the milieu, This line is Ironic, because here he is finally where he wanted to be the entire time, and he observes the milieu (milieu meaning environment)... Felo-de-se Felo-de-se is a person who kills himself intentionally. He finally got there, looked around, noticed he had nothing, and killed himself. Ironic. In that minute In the minute that he died. The world had lost People living in the real world His carnal remains Canral, meaning of or relating to the body or flesh, and remains being the left overs- I'm saying they only lost the physical left over to this guy and that he had mentaly and emotionally died long before.

03-14-2009, 01:01 PM	#25 (permalink)
Arya Stark "Hermione-Lite" Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: New York. Posts: 3,084	=\ When I write a poem, I can never explain it that clearly. That usually tells me that I did an alright job. >.<

03-14-2009, 01:05 PM	#26 (permalink)
Schizotypic Souls of Sound Sailors Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Mojave Posts: 759	When I write, I write a paragraph on what I want to vent and then I make a list of all the characters, possible metaphors, structure, etc. Then I write. Takes some time, and usually ends-up too vague. I'm still working on figuring out my style, I don't think the above is it. I want to figure out a way to make it artistic, beautiful and simple at the same time. A good challenge, still working on it. How does not being able to explain your own peom mean you did a good job?

03-14-2009, 01:16 PM	#27 (permalink)
Arya Stark "Hermione-Lite" Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: New York. Posts: 3,084	Goodness. I suppose I'm more spontaneous with my writing unless I feel something and decide to write something about it. Not being able to explain my poetry means that I was caught completely in the moment. It means that there was nothing planned, I spilled the feelings I felt without thinking ahead. I suppose it's a weird way to interpret it.