Quote:
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Originally Posted by TheBig3KilledMyRainDog
I loved you once, but the rot of the dead is pungent on my thoughts
And once in a blue moon, I sit up in bed
Staring at your lifeless body
Whispering "please don’t lay next to me anymore"
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i like everything for the most part. the first part of it is very poetic. the second part is good except for the first line. the part i highlighted in red. i dont think it flows as well as the rest of it. try something more like..."the decay of the deceased" or "the scent of those passed".
thats the only thing i would change. the rest of it i like.
__________________
How'd I end up here to begin with? I don't know.
Why do I start what I can't finish?
Oh please, don't barrage me with questions to all those ugly answers.
My ego's like my stomach- it keeps shitting what I feed it.
But maybe I don't want to finish anything anymore..
maybe I can wait in bed 'til she comes home. and whispers....
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Shooting Star
Remember kids: It's only real metal if the vocalist sounds like he's vomiting up a fetus. \m/
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