Jesus Christ I'm Amazing - The poetic updates of a madman

TrampInaTux · 05-03-2006, 12:54 PM

People discredit because they want to be modest, and say they only wrote it in a short space of time because they want to show off or want to explain why their work isn't that good. I know this because I do it all the time.

TheBig3 · 05-03-2006, 06:03 PM

Well honestly, I throw up scraps on the internet, I didn't mean to discredit myself but im just saying, this is not an accurate measure of my writing.

TheBig3 · 05-08-2006, 07:33 PM

I wrote this as an inside thing for certain people to read and get but I think I had some nice imagery (in two lines) so I came here to deflate my ego. Flog away gentle viewers.

Cover the Trash with morter, stone and brick.
Intellectual Masks on Commonwealth waste.
Cheap contractors and poor ventalation
Inundate my lungs with Methane.
I shave tainted layers from my right forearm
like a razor on the leather. I scrape at flesh,
for what rests in marrow. The oozing seep from
leaking bags claws my my chest and I claw at the rash.
Even Jesus dreams of the Cuyahoga on a warm
UMass evening.

mosesandtherubberducky · 05-08-2006, 08:04 PM

What/who is Cuyahoga and UMass?

Good imagery, made me cringe a little.

sleepy jack · 05-08-2006, 08:07 PM

Its really pretty, I like the vocabulary alot. Is it about cutting? Thats what I kind of got out of it. Its gooood.

explosions-in-my-pants · 05-08-2006, 08:23 PM

Quote:

I shave tainted layers from my right forearm
like a razor on the leather. I scrape at flesh,
for what rests in marrow. The oozing seep from
leaking bags claws my my chest and I claw at the rash.

thats what i really liked the most about it. Seems as if you have a dark mind, and it steps out into your writings. It hits the right nerves and dragged me in. I really liked it. Good work!

TheBig3 · 05-08-2006, 09:03 PM

Well the Cuyahoga River was a River in Clevland that caught on fire. In other words, it s****ing dirty.

UMass is my school, stands for University of Massachusetts. There are 4 of them but the one in Boston was made by corrupt politicians and contractors some of which have been sent to jail because of us. We were built on a landfill.

Merkaba · 05-08-2006, 09:16 PM

After reading that, the first 4 lines make pretty good reading. I like it. I'm not sure about the next 4 lines though. Is that you trying to say the waste gets at you like an irritating rash?

Either-or it's pretty rich in imagery, again I like it.

TheBig3 · 05-08-2006, 09:20 PM

No this one is directed towards people. I can't wait till that **** storm goes off because I blogged it on my myspace page.

~~bungalow~~ · 05-08-2006, 09:21 PM

Who is the certain group of people you directed this towards?

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05-03-2006, 06:03 PM	#102 (permalink)
TheBig3 killedmyraindog Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Boston, Massachusetts Posts: 11,172	Well honestly, I throw up scraps on the internet, I didn't mean to discredit myself but im just saying, this is not an accurate measure of my writing. __________________ I've moved to a new address

05-08-2006, 07:33 PM	#103 (permalink)
TheBig3 killedmyraindog Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Boston, Massachusetts Posts: 11,172	No title for this one I wrote this as an inside thing for certain people to read and get but I think I had some nice imagery (in two lines) so I came here to deflate my ego. Flog away gentle viewers. Cover the Trash with morter, stone and brick. Intellectual Masks on Commonwealth waste. Cheap contractors and poor ventalation Inundate my lungs with Methane. I shave tainted layers from my right forearm like a razor on the leather. I scrape at flesh, for what rests in marrow. The oozing seep from leaking bags claws my my chest and I claw at the rash. Even Jesus dreams of the Cuyahoga on a warm UMass evening. __________________ I've moved to a new address

05-08-2006, 08:04 PM	#104 (permalink)
mosesandtherubberducky butt say x Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: so i read the question as "Where YOU live" which was kinda funny instead of "Where you live" Posts: 1,649	What/who is Cuyahoga and UMass? Good imagery, made me cringe a little. __________________ Can I have a youtube video for a sig? There's a thing that says "Wrap [YOUTUBE] tags around selected text"

05-08-2006, 09:03 PM	#107 (permalink)
TheBig3 killedmyraindog Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Boston, Massachusetts Posts: 11,172	Well the Cuyahoga River was a River in Clevland that caught on fire. In other words, it s****ing dirty. UMass is my school, stands for University of Massachusetts. There are 4 of them but the one in Boston was made by corrupt politicians and contractors some of which have been sent to jail because of us. We were built on a landfill. __________________ I've moved to a new address

05-03-2006, 12:54 PM	#101 (permalink)
TrampInaTux that's my war face. Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,418	People discredit because they want to be modest, and say they only wrote it in a short space of time because they want to show off or want to explain why their work isn't that good. I know this because I do it all the time.

05-08-2006, 09:16 PM	#108 (permalink)
Merkaba Whitewater! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: New Zealand Posts: 2,885	After reading that, the first 4 lines make pretty good reading. I like it. I'm not sure about the next 4 lines though. Is that you trying to say the waste gets at you like an irritating rash? Either-or it's pretty rich in imagery, again I like it. __________________ She thinks I'm a reclusive genius, she's going to be very disappointed when she finds out i'm a reclusive wanker

05-08-2006, 09:20 PM	#109 (permalink)
TheBig3 killedmyraindog Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Boston, Massachusetts Posts: 11,172	No this one is directed towards people. I can't wait till that **** storm goes off because I blogged it on my myspace page. __________________ I've moved to a new address

05-08-2006, 09:21 PM	#110 (permalink)
~~bungalow~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Hot-lanta Posts: 3,140	Who is the certain group of people you directed this towards?