Review My Catchy Pop/Acoustic/Indie Song?

Mike Smith · 01-22-2009, 07:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mr dave

gotta say i love the irony of seeing lyrics to a song that would have totally fit as some hippie love song in the 60s being slammed because it goes against some BS hippie ideal about integrity being directly proportionate to the individual's disdain for the established mainstream.

So are you on my side where this whole thing is concerned?

Cause i feel my song is very well written and could sell even today if it had a good enough beat to it.

yoboe · 01-23-2009, 07:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Unfan

lol @ vocals on myspace page.
Who makes music because they believe in it? As a fellow musician I can honestly say that there is a thing known as business. Perhaps you should study it. Rumor has it that if you're good at making music with no soul that you can be cool and get mad bitches.

there is also a thing known as respect...
unless ur being sarcastic then its cool lol

and mike, your song is good, people just think the lyrics are "old" an cliche. i guess you could add/change some words to make it different from every other song. use some dissonant words, alliterations and rhetoric like that. but whether people like your song is different from if they like the lyrics. if the song is catchey and shows your musical talent people will still like it

Mike Smith · 01-23-2009, 09:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yoboe

there is also a thing known as respect...
unless ur being sarcastic then its cool lol

and mike, your song is good, people just think the lyrics are "old" an cliche. i guess you could add/change some words to make it different from every other song. use some dissonant words, alliterations and rhetoric like that. but whether people like your song is different from if they like the lyrics. if the song is catchey and shows your musical talent people will still like it

Well at least someone here is being nice and describing it in a way that doesnt piss me off :] haha

Thanks yoboe

I understand what you're saying

I wish people would have said that to begin with though so this whole almost war type thing wouldnt have started haha

I wrote the song as i was listening to another artist and based my song off his song

So it is kind of cliche which i realize

But i dont think ill change the lyrics because i have the perfect beat in my head for the song and the lyrics i wrote

And if i change the lyrics the beat wont match

But thanks yoboe :]

clockworkmice · 01-24-2009, 10:07 AM

If you hear a load of comments saying that your lyrics should be changed then usually following that advice is a good idea as opposed to jus listening to it and not taking any action. But it's your song I guess....

yoboe · 01-24-2009, 05:18 PM

when i write a song that i think sucks i usually just forget about it, i dont even try to fix it.
but watever works for u is good. make a rough file and post it so we can listen

mr dave · 01-24-2009, 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mike Smith

So are you on my side where this whole thing is concerned?

why does it matter?

all i was saying is that i found it funny that your song was getting slammed based on ideals established by people who would have written something similar back in their day. or at least it's the impression i get from the lyrics without knowing the music.

as for the samples on myspace my only comment is less words more breathing.

Mike Smith · 01-24-2009, 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mr dave

why does it matter?

all i was saying is that i found it funny that your song was getting slammed based on ideals established by people who would have written something similar back in their day. or at least it's the impression i get from the lyrics without knowing the music.

as for the samples on myspace my only comment is less words more breathing.

lol true it doesnt matter

i was pissed from the other comments when i wrote that

And it is funny i think, but whatever =]

And thanks for the advice

Im going to be re recording everything with professional quality mics, programs and studio type stuff in june or july, so ill post here more when i get new stuff up

inthepink · 08-11-2009, 06:25 PM

First off, if you're gunna ask people for their opinion be open to what they have to say and don't defend your point of view. That only defeats the purpose of you asking for advice.
If you really want helpful advice on your lyrics I can tell you they're not deep enough. these are words ANYONE could write. And no. It's not what the industry is looking for. What you want to do is try to present a situation in a way that is new and fresh to your audience.
You have the format (of verse, chorus and so forth) down, So how about trying some alliteration? maybe metaphors? Try to paint a picture in people's heads of how you feel and make them feel the same. You say you're into Acting? make it Dramatic.
And if you want to make it about the catchy beat and the awesome music, make it about the catchy beat and the awesome music. In that sense lyrics have little to do with the song. In a show words or lyrical content is only 15% of what your audience pays attention to.
I think It's kindda cool that you're an army guy with taste for music. keep at it and see what you can come up with!

Best of luck!!

01-24-2009, 10:07 AM	#34 (permalink)
clockworkmice Groupie Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 27	If you hear a load of comments saying that your lyrics should be changed then usually following that advice is a good idea as opposed to jus listening to it and not taking any action. But it's your song I guess....

01-24-2009, 05:18 PM	#35 (permalink)
yoboe Groupie Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: C-TOWN Posts: 19	when i write a song that i think sucks i usually just forget about it, i dont even try to fix it. but watever works for u is good. make a rough file and post it so we can listen

08-11-2009, 06:25 PM	#38 (permalink)
inthepink Groupie Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 2	First off, if you're gunna ask people for their opinion be open to what they have to say and don't defend your point of view. That only defeats the purpose of you asking for advice. If you really want helpful advice on your lyrics I can tell you they're not deep enough. these are words ANYONE could write. And no. It's not what the industry is looking for. What you want to do is try to present a situation in a way that is new and fresh to your audience. You have the format (of verse, chorus and so forth) down, So how about trying some alliteration? maybe metaphors? Try to paint a picture in people's heads of how you feel and make them feel the same. You say you're into Acting? make it Dramatic. And if you want to make it about the catchy beat and the awesome music, make it about the catchy beat and the awesome music. In that sense lyrics have little to do with the song. In a show words or lyrical content is only 15% of what your audience pays attention to. I think It's kindda cool that you're an army guy with taste for music. keep at it and see what you can come up with! Best of luck!!