333

I think it has great flow and imagery. The story is a little vague. I'm having a hard time deciphering whether it is an emotional or physical punch. There are times, though, when explaining yourself fully is unnecessary because the beautiful thing about art is that it is fluid. No one will completely empathize or know your true feelings behind this piece, but you. No matter how much you explain it to us, most of us will correlate the words that you say and emotions you express with our own personal life.

Schizotypic

^Very, very true. Especially with vague poetry, but even with poems that are simple and that point is obvious. Everyone has their own interpretation.

Rubber

deleted.

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Stone Birds

is the big part supposed to be lyrics or is it a comment to your lyrics?

Rubber

it's just a continuation of the lines.

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holynapkin

The second paragraph has no flow at all. I am sorry but those lyrics cannot be sung.

Even if it was poetry, it still lacks anything that would deem it so. It seems more like a cruddy letter written to someone.

But, whatever, to each his own.

Thrice

shooot man, anything can be sung!

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Lew Harrison, who looked like an anarchist with his red eyes and fierce black beard, had been writing furiously in one corner of the room. "That's good—happiness by the kilowatt," he said. "Buy your happiness the way you buy light."

pahuuuta

but some things are better not being sung.

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He Who Makes A Beast Out Of Himself Gets Rid Of The Pain Of Being A Man

Rubber

I can honestly say I really don't like this one at all. I'd disagree about it not being poetry, but it's still really bad. I'd delete it if I could.

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simplephysics

Would that be a request?

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one font under god