Running Scared (title)

WendyCal · 10-16-2008, 03:03 PM

Just
feeling a little used, abused and refused...

We've All Been Here, And It Just SUX!
~ yet another feeble attempt at poetry by www (aka weird wendy winthrope)

Made a run through the night into austin
for an order of mushrooms and herb.
The prices were set, the ‘have-nots’ would get ~
Then Greed stomped me down like a turd.

First, it would cost me like usual –
three-fifty to four-and-a-quarter –
but as the miles flew, their avarice grew
And each stop made my bankroll grow shorter.

At last! Almost done! i exhaled
(my ‘friend,’ to my mind now “King DICK”)
When, finally ~ aghast ~ i stopped for more cash
The FUCKER ripped-off half a brick!!!

And here is the thing that just kilz me
When i went in to get the more cash?
I picked up some blunts, though after just once
i wouldn’t touch the things with YOUR ass!

So ~ while I’m in getting a gift
This person is showing me just
How little he thinks of my friendship ~ (eye blinks)
Now my mind and my heart feel crushed.

Uhhh... Oh, yeah. “The End”

jackhammer · 10-16-2008, 06:37 PM

Putting brackets into a free flowing 'rhyme' disturbs the flow somewhat. That and the fact that is not very good means that it won't illicit many responses.

WendyCal · 10-16-2008, 07:47 PM

It's not very good because i dashed it together in about 15 mins this morning!!!

It's just a little blowing-off-some-steam ditty so i wasn't exactly expecting any compliments ~ just hoping it might entertain for a moment, and i did try to write it in a humorous vein.

Perhaps if i'd titled it something like:

"We've All Been Here, And It Sure Enough SUX"

the fact that its crap would have announced itself immediately.

Wifey Boozer · 10-17-2008, 04:41 PM

I like poems about illegalities. It's not very good, no good flow, rhymes not good... but. I can't resist smiling at poems about drugs or booze/drug-addicts/alcoholics. It was humorous but not in the way you wanted it to be LOL

WendyCal · 10-17-2008, 05:09 PM

Well, good! i'm glad you enjoyed it!

AND, i was hoping you'd reply to this!

i haven't replied to any of yours because i just don't get them, so anything i have to say would just be bullshit, and it looked like you were taking enough of that from other folks, so...

Anyway, glad you smiled and/or laughed ~ and whether it was at me, or with me, i got what i wanted!

Wifey Boozer · 10-17-2008, 06:00 PM

Hahaha. Go ahead, reply to mine, boost my ego (or lackof ha). Mine are mostly about repressed anger or alcoholism, prostution. The dark side of things. I alwaya take **** off folks, I'm rather used to it, doesn't bother me. I'm glad you got what you wanted haha

WendyCal · 10-17-2008, 08:23 PM

Oh, wow ~ no.

When i said i didn't get your poetry,
i meant that, like, i have no idea of the refs you make to people because i don't know the first thing about their lives or circumstances.

There are no tips nor helps i could give you, and a critique would just be how i felt about the actual words you used.

i don't care for dark allusions very much, so unless all i wanted to do was hurt your feelers, i really have no business replying to your poetry. i'm sorry, because i DO feel pretty strongly about it ~ when people share something as personal as a piece of writing, they are opening themselves to you, letting you look inside, and it's real hard to accept someone picking away at your 'baby,' especially if they don't know the first thing about the methods, background, etc., that you're basing the whole thing on.

Wifey Boozer · 10-18-2008, 09:55 AM

That's ok Wendy, I'm glad you understand though

10-16-2008, 03:03 PM	#1 (permalink)
WendyCal Music Addict Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 271	"We've All Been Here, And It Just SUX!" Just feeling a little used, abused and refused... We've All Been Here, And It Just SUX! ~ yet another feeble attempt at poetry by www (aka weird wendy winthrope) Made a run through the night into austin for an order of mushrooms and herb. The prices were set, the ‘have-nots’ would get ~ Then Greed stomped me down like a turd. First, it would cost me like usual – three-fifty to four-and-a-quarter – but as the miles flew, their avarice grew And each stop made my bankroll grow shorter. At last! Almost done! i exhaled (my ‘friend,’ to my mind now “King DICK”) When, finally ~ aghast ~ i stopped for more cash The FUCKER ripped-off half a brick!!! And here is the thing that just kilz me When i went in to get the more cash? I picked up some blunts, though after just once i wouldn’t touch the things with YOUR ass! So ~ while I’m in getting a gift This person is showing me just How little he thinks of my friendship ~ (eye blinks) Now my mind and my heart feel crushed. Uhhh... Oh, yeah. “The End” Last edited by WendyCal; 10-17-2008 at 09:31 PM.

10-16-2008, 06:37 PM	#2 (permalink)
jackhammer Ba and Be. Join Date: May 2007 Location: This Is England Posts: 17,331	Putting brackets into a free flowing 'rhyme' disturbs the flow somewhat. That and the fact that is not very good means that it won't illicit many responses. __________________ It be my music and film collection. “A cynic by experience, a romantic by inclination and now a hero by necessity.”

10-17-2008, 04:41 PM	#4 (permalink)
Wifey Boozer Meanie McFeany Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Troy side'ah the dirt, NY Posts: 455	I like poems about illegalities. It's not very good, no good flow, rhymes not good... but. I can't resist smiling at poems about drugs or booze/drug-addicts/alcoholics. It was humorous but not in the way you wanted it to be LOL __________________ ... Stalin had a *FANTASTIC* moustache. Formerly known as the Prime Minister of Spain. [backintheubbr]

10-17-2008, 06:00 PM	#6 (permalink)
Wifey Boozer Meanie McFeany Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Troy side'ah the dirt, NY Posts: 455	Hahaha. Go ahead, reply to mine, boost my ego (or lackof ha). Mine are mostly about repressed anger or alcoholism, prostution. The dark side of things. I alwaya take ** off folks, I'm rather used to it, doesn't bother me. I'm glad you got what you wanted haha __________________ ... Stalin had a FANTASTIC** moustache. Formerly known as the Prime Minister of Spain. [backintheubbr]

10-18-2008, 09:55 AM	#8 (permalink)
Wifey Boozer Meanie McFeany Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Troy side'ah the dirt, NY Posts: 455	That's ok Wendy, I'm glad you understand though __________________ ... Stalin had a *FANTASTIC* moustache. Formerly known as the Prime Minister of Spain. [backintheubbr]

10-16-2008, 07:47 PM	#3 (permalink)
WendyCal Music Addict Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 271	It's not very good because i dashed it together in about 15 mins this morning!!! It's just a little blowing-off-some-steam ditty so i wasn't exactly expecting any compliments ~ just hoping it might entertain for a moment, and i did try to write it in a humorous vein. Perhaps if i'd titled it something like: "We've All Been Here, And It Sure Enough SUX" the fact that its crap would have announced itself immediately.

10-17-2008, 05:09 PM	#5 (permalink)
WendyCal Music Addict Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 271	Well, good! i'm glad you enjoyed it! AND, i was hoping you'd reply to this! i haven't replied to any of yours because i just don't get them, so anything i have to say would just be bullshit, and it looked like you were taking enough of that from other folks, so... Anyway, glad you smiled and/or laughed ~ and whether it was at me, or with me, i got what i wanted!

10-17-2008, 08:23 PM	#7 (permalink)
WendyCal Music Addict Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 271	Oh, wow ~ no. When i said i didn't get your poetry, i meant that, like, i have no idea of the refs you make to people because i don't know the first thing about their lives or circumstances. There are no tips nor helps i could give you, and a critique would just be how i felt about the actual words you used. i don't care for dark allusions very much, so unless all i wanted to do was hurt your feelers, i really have no business replying to your poetry. i'm sorry, because i DO feel pretty strongly about it ~ when people share something as personal as a piece of writing, they are opening themselves to you, letting you look inside, and it's real hard to accept someone picking away at your 'baby,' especially if they don't know the first thing about the methods, background, etc., that you're basing the whole thing on.