In Walked a Man Who Held Life in His Hands

Blue · 10-15-2008, 10:05 AM

I also thought it was really great. I was a big fan of the imagery and the words you use to convey it. I do think that the chorus would work better with some other lines in there rather then repeating the same line four times. Obviously I can't tell you what to do with your work, because if that's what you feel is appropriate, so be it. I guess I just personally would do something more along the lines of Fyrenza. Great work regardless though, I really enjoyed it.

Berringer · 10-17-2008, 05:10 AM

I've actually been toying around with the chorus a bit, however I can't find anything that sticks yet. I'm not sure if I'll keep tinkering with it or if I'll leave it alone. I'm grateful for the feedback I've been getting on the piece though. Thanks, guys.

10-15-2008, 10:05 AM	#11 (permalink)
Blue Music Addict Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Toronto, ON Posts: 287	I also thought it was really great. I was a big fan of the imagery and the words you use to convey it. I do think that the chorus would work better with some other lines in there rather then repeating the same line four times. Obviously I can't tell you what to do with your work, because if that's what you feel is appropriate, so be it. I guess I just personally would do something more along the lines of Fyrenza. Great work regardless though, I really enjoyed it.

10-17-2008, 05:10 AM	#12 (permalink)
Berringer Groupie Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: The Psychedelic Underground Posts: 37	I've actually been toying around with the chorus a bit, however I can't find anything that sticks yet. I'm not sure if I'll keep tinkering with it or if I'll leave it alone. I'm grateful for the feedback I've been getting on the piece though. Thanks, guys.