Teddy Bear

RAVE -N- · 09-16-2008, 01:16 PM

Teddybear

Shepard awaits question,
Answers with care,
To create this,
From bare;
Skin untouched
Eyes as bright as stars
See diamonds
In her heart
Parting beliefs
Commanding words
Inanimate cure
A hurting world

Wifey Boozer · 09-16-2008, 05:19 PM

I liked it up until the cliche "eyes as bright as stars" simile. And I don't like the last line. Like the analogy/metaphor of a shepard.

09-16-2008, 01:16 PM	#1 (permalink)
RAVE -N- Groupie Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 13	Teddy Bear Teddybear Shepard awaits question, Answers with care, To create this, From bare; Skin untouched Eyes as bright as stars See diamonds In her heart Parting beliefs Commanding words Inanimate cure A hurting world __________________ [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] RAVE -N- The Search for the Meaning of Life... Love...

09-16-2008, 05:19 PM	#2 (permalink)
Wifey Boozer Meanie McFeany Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Troy side'ah the dirt, NY Posts: 455	I liked it up until the cliche "eyes as bright as stars" simile. And I don't like the last line. Like the analogy/metaphor of a shepard. __________________ ... Stalin had a *FANTASTIC* moustache. Formerly known as the Prime Minister of Spain. [backintheubbr]