wolverinewolfweiselpigeon's Songwriting Journal

Wifey Boozer · 10-17-2008, 04:43 PM

Also love the last line. But this is my favorite:

"You're still paper beneath the grit."

The sandpaper metaphor is kinda overused in this capacity, but on the whole I like it. What made you write it?

WWWP · 10-17-2008, 05:51 PM

Oh you know. Assholes.

FaSho · 10-17-2008, 05:54 PM

a great inspiration

makes great writing i thought it was pretty sweet

Arya Stark · 10-21-2008, 10:51 AM

I feel as if maybe, it's a tad cliche? Don't get me wrong, it's well written.
I just feel like I've heard it before. >.<

Good job, nonetheless.

I'd love to hear more of your work. =]

WWWP · 11-14-2008, 03:16 PM

Shattered truth, shattered youth
Broken hope of alliance
Back-tracking days of destroying the silence
Of well thought out vents
Ignorant words have replaced common sense
We're all apprehensive
Strutting on the defensive
Line of a life bred by sheep and their pastors
I thought days were over of bowing to masters
Cover yourself behind fiction stained shades
And let them direct you
Let them disrespect you
Let them continue to pillage and rape
An unborn society, fill it with hate
Oh, the irony. Isn't it great
Cast stones at the windows
And blow down the homes
But you cannot throw rocks
When you live in fragile lies.
Innocent sheep might get hurt.

Jim Colyer · 11-15-2008, 07:58 PM

Some pretty depressed and depressing lyrics.

FaSho · 11-15-2008, 08:18 PM

So? That doesn't take away from the greatness. Good job!

FireInCairo · 11-15-2008, 08:31 PM

This is good! keep it up

WWWP · 11-16-2008, 01:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jim Colyer

Some pretty depressed and depressing lyrics.

It's not meant to be depressing. =\
Or at least not any more depressing than watching the news.

aveneficus · 11-16-2008, 05:33 PM

Very good, deep.. which i always enjoy reading.
Try using punctuation though too. It makes it easier to read and sometimes helps people to understand exactly what you're trying to say too.

10-17-2008, 04:43 PM	#21 (permalink)
Wifey Boozer Meanie McFeany Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Troy side'ah the dirt, NY Posts: 455	Also love the last line. But this is my favorite: "You're still paper beneath the grit." The sandpaper metaphor is kinda overused in this capacity, but on the whole I like it. What made you write it? __________________ ... Stalin had a *FANTASTIC* moustache. Formerly known as the Prime Minister of Spain. [backintheubbr]

11-15-2008, 08:31 PM	#28 (permalink)
FireInCairo Later on... Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Melbourne Posts: 1,235	This is good! keep it up __________________ O G MUDBONE: Only You can prevent forest fires.

10-21-2008, 10:51 AM	#24 (permalink)
Arya Stark "Hermione-Lite" Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: New York. Posts: 3,084	I feel as if maybe, it's a tad cliche? Don't get me wrong, it's well written. I just feel like I've heard it before. >.< Good job, nonetheless. I'd love to hear more of your work. =]

11-15-2008, 07:58 PM	#26 (permalink)
Jim Colyer Groupie Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Nashville, Tennessee Posts: 40	Some pretty depressed and depressing lyrics.

11-16-2008, 05:33 PM	#30 (permalink)
aveneficus Groupie Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Cincinnati, OH Posts: 44	Very good, deep.. which i always enjoy reading. Try using punctuation though too. It makes it easier to read and sometimes helps people to understand exactly what you're trying to say too.