wolverinewolfweiselpigeon's Songwriting Journal

WWWP · 12-07-2009, 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NumberNineDream

However, why is your voice 100% panned to the Left?
My headphones were tickling me very badly lol !

Shit... because the program automatically pans everything to the left for some reason and I forgot to fix it. Gah. I think I'm going to redo the vocals AGAIN though, so rest assured that the very last final version of this song will create even headphone tickling.

WWWP · 12-16-2009, 03:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolverinewolfweiselpigeon

We smoked cigarettes down old dirt roads
Our feet in the freezing lake
Watching our lives on the water's reflection
Dancing with every ache.

We'd disappear for hours at a time
Just lying in a field
Nothing free from our curious minds
No wish stayed concealed.

Walking by the bridge we bitched about our fathers
Til we were out of breath
We planned our wedding days and danced down the sidewalk
Til no sun was left.

But you can't see just right with the moon in your eyes.

I would hide in bed wishing to be lovely
Soak my face with tears
But nothing could quite replace your ready shoulders
Nothing's changed throughout the years.

We laughed about that lonely highway
"Let's hitchhike out of here
With friends for family and no set direction
Let's just have someone else steer."

I'm sad for what is gone, I'm sad for what is there
When the night begins to fall
Courage is found on the desolate hillside
Or just past this wall.

But you can't see just right with the moon in your eyes.

That town is a drain; it'll suck you dry
If you don't get away
Yeah that town is a drain, even once you've gone
Your heart still remains.

Now all these sedatives are keeping me awake
And I can't breath for all this air
A pretty noose will strangle you with it's beauty
A predetermined snare.

Is it a guilty mind that's causing this sick stomache
Or just this empty bottle of booze?
I've been watching life on the surface of new waters
But all I see is you.

But you can't see just right with the moon in your eyes

Recorded this tonight, only a first draft so it's subject to change but feedback would be appreciated!

This link is NumberNineDream approved:
Metaphors of Toast.rar

NumberNineDream · 12-16-2009, 03:50 AM

*Stamp of approval*

FETCHER. · 12-16-2009, 08:01 AM

I watched the YouTube video a few days, and I actually thought it was brilliant, I watched it a few times also. I was realllly impressed. I'm looking forward to seeing some more

.

WWWP · 01-04-2010, 09:44 PM

Oh hai guys. You can now listen to these songs and more on my band's myspace page. =D

Lawn Chronicles on MySpace Music - Free Streaming MP3s, Pictures & Music Downloads

storymilo · 01-04-2010, 10:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolverinewolfweiselpigeon

Oh hai guys. You can now listen to these songs and more on my band's myspace page. =D

Lawn Chronicles on MySpace Music - Free Streaming MP3s, Pictures & Music Downloads

You changed your name to Lawn Chronicles?????

WWWP · 01-04-2010, 11:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by storymilo

You changed your name to Lawn Chronicles?????

Yep. We really liked Metaphors for Toast but there's already and band called Toast. So we were going to change it to Without Bread, but there's already a band called Land Without Bread. So we picked Lawn Chronicles and so far we like it more.

storymilo · 01-04-2010, 11:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolverinewolfweiselpigeon

Yep. We really liked Metaphors for Toast but there's already and band called Toast. So we were going to change it to Without Bread, but there's already a band called Land Without Bread. So we picked Lawn Chronicles and so far we like it more.

Alright it's acceptable. This is actually very funny because when I was dreaming about starting a band I was brainstorming names and I actually thought Toast would be a great name. But then someone burst my bubble and told me there already was one

I'm considering The Wrinkles though.

NumberNineDream · 01-05-2010, 12:30 PM

I have to edit my library now.. oh my!

Checking the myspace page for now, feedback later...

Later:

Great job on Influences and Sounds Like

The connection isn't working much, so I'm not being able to hear the songs, but still looking forward to them.
Feedback on the songs laterer.

NSW · 01-05-2010, 12:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolverinewolfweiselpigeon

I'm working on something now but am having trouble finishing the lyrics, so if anyone has any ideas, suggestions, etc please help me out.

What I have so far:

I packed my bags two days after my high school graduation
And said goodbye to my hometown without much hesitation
I jumped a plane to SFO in my determination
And made my way through the north bay with sense of liberation

My sister said I left due to lack of appreciation
Dad cried out "abandonment" toned with intimidation
But they can't steal the thrill I feel negating expectation
And guilt trips call for too much fuel and duel cooperation

I was considering using the "ation" rhyme throughout the entire song, but a lot of songs do that and I don't want to rip anyone off. I also am unsure what to have for the bridge/chorus, so if you have any ideas let me know.

Here's the recording of what I have so far. The lyrics stop about a minute in, so don't feel obliged to listen to the whole track, the rest is just filler until I finish the lyrics. Oh, and I'm not a singer so please keep your insults to yourself.

Untitled.

EDIT: Still don't know what to do for the chorus but I finished up the lyrics -

You looked right in my face and said you don't deserve resentment
That night when you disowned me, yeah, you said you never meant it
So I promised my forgiveness and you filled up with contentment
But I had my fingers crossed inside the pockets of my jacket

You always said that anger's justified when provocation's present
I grew up knowing you were wrong, accepting the unpleasent
But now today three states away I'm calling you pathetic
And if the whole world shit on you it's only cause you let it

Wow…I’m not really sure how I missed this (probably because I don’t visit the songwriting forum too often), but I’m incredibly happy to have stumbled upon it today. I listened to the three songs on your Myspace page, all good, but my favorite is Negating Expectiations. The lyrics in bold were especially moving. Good going girl!

Oh, and I’m glad you decided not to go with the "ation" rhyme throughout the song. I can’t speak for anyone else obviously, but I feel like it would have lessened the impact and meaning of the lyrics considerably.

I'm most definitely looking forward to hearing more.

12-16-2009, 03:50 AM	#113 (permalink)
NumberNineDream Blue Bleezin' Blind Drunk Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: The land of the largest wine glass (aka Lebanon) Posts: 2,200	Stamp of approval __________________ Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?Do bats eat cats? Do bats eat cats? Do bats eat cats? Do bats eat cats? Do bats eat cats?Do bats eat cats?Do bats eat cats?Do bats eat cats? Do bats eat cats? Do bats eat cats? Do bats eat cats?Do bats eat cats?Do bats eat cats? Do bats eat cats? Do bats eat cats? Welcome to the Black Lodge

01-05-2010, 12:30 PM	#119 (permalink)
NumberNineDream Blue Bleezin' Blind Drunk Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: The land of the largest wine glass (aka Lebanon) Posts: 2,200	I have to edit my library now.. oh my! Checking the myspace page for now, feedback later... Later: Great job on Influences and Sounds Like The connection isn't working much, so I'm not being able to hear the songs, but still looking forward to them. Feedback on the songs laterer. __________________ Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?Do bats eat cats? Do bats eat cats? Do bats eat cats? Do bats eat cats? Do bats eat cats?Do bats eat cats?Do bats eat cats?Do bats eat cats? Do bats eat cats? Do bats eat cats? Do bats eat cats?Do bats eat cats?Do bats eat cats? Do bats eat cats? Do bats eat cats? Welcome to the Black Lodge Last edited by NumberNineDream; 01-05-2010 at 12:55 PM.