wolverinewolfweiselpigeon's Songwriting Journal

FETCHER. · 11-11-2009, 12:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolverinewolfweiselpigeon

I packed my bags two days after my high school graduation
And said goodbye to my hometown without much hesitation
I jumped a plane to SFO in my determination
And made my way through the north bay with sense of liberation

My sister said I left due to lack of appreciation
Dad cried out "abandonment" toned with intimidation
But they can't steal the thrill I feel negating expectation
And guilt trips call for too much fuel and duel cooperation

EDIT: Still don't know what to do for the chorus but I finished up the lyrics -

You looked right in my face and said you don't deserve resentment
That night when you disowned me, yeah, you said you never meant it
So I promised my forgiveness and you filled up with contentment
But I had my fingers crossed inside the pockets of my jacket

You always said that anger's justified when provocation's present
I grew up knowing you were wrong, accepting the unpleasent
But now today three states away I'm calling you pathetic
And if the whole world shit on you it's only cause you let it

I like both, I actually love the second one. It's very.. emotive, yet harsh. Which I like, emotive in part where you had "But I had my fingers crossed inside the pockets of my jacket" and harsh "And if the whole world shit on you it's only cause you let it" I like those lines best, the first one cause it symbolises hope to me, and the second I feel like it's a rebellion, and you feel anger towards the person its directed at. Good work

Also, I'm no music critic so I don't really know, thats just what it's like to me though, hope it helps

WWWP · 11-11-2009, 12:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kayleigh.

I like both, I actually love the second one. It's very.. emotive, yet harsh. Which I like, emotive in part where you had "But I had my fingers crossed inside the pockets of my jacket" and harsh "And if the whole world shit on you it's only cause you let it" I like those lines best, the first one cause it symbolises hope to me, and the second I feel like it's a rebellion, and you feel anger towards the person its directed at. Good work

Also, I'm no music critic so I don't really know, thats just what it's like to me though, hope it helps

Thanks, Kayleigh, I really appreciate it.
I should have a link up for the finished song by the end of the week.

WWWP · 11-12-2009, 11:38 PM

Almost final version of that song: Negating Expectations.rar

Edit: Ok, updated the song again tonight... hopefully for the last time. Dropped the harmonizing vocals found in the last version. Let me know which is better.
Version 3: http://www.mediafire.com/?gtwmg5xnhty

WWWP · 12-02-2009, 02:40 AM

Nevermind. I won't make you go through the whole downloading process.

SATCHMO · 12-02-2009, 02:44 AM

Super good! Didn't know you had it in ya' Wolvey.

WWWP · 12-02-2009, 02:45 AM

Thank you!

NumberNineDream · 12-07-2009, 08:36 PM

I didn't know there's other versions now ... I only saw the first half of the song made, and I really liked it then. Listening to the other version right now, but waiting for the buffering.

*Good that writer's block is out of the way now.

Astronomer · 12-07-2009, 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolverinewolfweiselpigeon

Nevermind. I won't make you go through the whole downloading process.

I listened to this on YouTube when you posted it, I have to say... I love it!

Great job, and I hope to hear more.

WWWP · 12-07-2009, 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lateralus

I listened to this on YouTube when you posted it, I have to say... I love it!

Great job, and I hope to hear more.

Thanks so much, Kate, that means a lot. I'll keep you updated for sure.

NumberNineDream · 12-07-2009, 08:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolverinewolfweiselpigeon

Nevermind. I won't make you go through the whole downloading process.

I loved the second part, much stronger lyrics while keeping the same kind of "whatever" sound to it.
Plus Lovely cough at the beginning, just what every song really needs.

However, why is your voice 100% panned to the Left?
My headphones were tickling me very badly lol !

12-07-2009, 08:36 PM	#107 (permalink)
NumberNineDream Blue Bleezin' Blind Drunk Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: The land of the largest wine glass (aka Lebanon) Posts: 2,200	I didn't know there's other versions now ... I only saw the first half of the song made, and I really liked it then. Listening to the other version right now, but waiting for the buffering. *Good that writer's block is out of the way now. __________________ Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?Do bats eat cats? Do bats eat cats? Do bats eat cats? Do bats eat cats? Do bats eat cats?Do bats eat cats?Do bats eat cats?Do bats eat cats? Do bats eat cats? Do bats eat cats? Do bats eat cats?Do bats eat cats?Do bats eat cats? Do bats eat cats? Do bats eat cats? Welcome to the Black Lodge

12-02-2009, 02:44 AM	#105 (permalink)
SATCHMO Al Dente Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 4,708	Super good! Didn't know you had it in ya' Wolvey.