Alfred

You're out there playing paintball
And you're a sitting duck,
I did some thorough research,
and found out that you suck,
You're out there playing hockey,
and you can't touch the puck,
I did some thorugh research,
and found out that you suck,
You got hired for a job,
but you make less than a buck,
I did some thorough research,
and found out that you suck,
You're trying to stay clean,
but you start playing in the muck,
I did some thorough research,
and found out that you suck,
You're trying to learn guitar,
but the strings are hard to pluck,
I did some thorough research,
and found out that you suck,
Your dog is on its deathbed,
and you're wishing it good luck,
I did some thorough research,
and found out that you suck,
You're in the middle of a spelling test,
and you can't spell the word "tuck"
I did some thorough research,
and found out that you suck!

Jadix

you tried to write a poem
but all you rhymed was 'uck'
...
...

Alfred

You're missing the point of it.
...
...

PaperHurricanesAndPlanes

I did some thorough research
And found that Dr. Seuss was a fad
That's over and done.
Shitty rhyming is now just shitty.

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