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02-09-2008, 07:28 PM | #1 (permalink) |
Groupie
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 2
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Can I get some feedback on this please(and hello!)
Hi all, I'm writing some stuff (studio project), I wanted some impartial views. (the stars*****are removed words) its not so much lyrics as accompanying prose.
Ancient Curse She Became at once, and -knowing no youth- She was all that is real and sensual She was Dark and Light Fire and Ice Earth and Water She was Quintessence, She bled upon the snowy ground And came in the black sky, Giving life to the earth And light to the stars. There was no creature Who did not lust after Her… So much lust- She was raped and raped again Until Her chastity was ground to dust And Her gifts were all gone She was cast aside to weep, On the breath of the wind You can hear Her moaning still. Her hollow eyes see all Her shattered soul, - knowing no youth - No longer speaks, save for a Lonely wail in the wind. In her wake she left a curse, A clandestine curse, upon men of *****, Which is barely heard On the wild desert Or deep in the pining forest- It does not dwell there. But within the hearts of the ******* That curse lays beating, A pulse as thick as tar Brimming with caustic burden Look and you can see its tempo Throbbing with insistent heat Fervently waiting to violate again That calm innocent purity To know that mystical fount and The climax of destroying it. It will never be - for that temptress is lost; But the lust lives on An agony -sin- They must endure, Relieved by bodies much less arcane ~knowing no guile~ But tangibly almost as pure Reduced to acts they denounce and deplore Corrupt and without castration. So the world loses the morning dew From a dawn which was once a brighter hue But will never sparkle again. Her dark serendipity Lives a little in secret places, Silent places; Heathen places. Listen~and with furtive eyes and open heart, You shall find Her there~ Her song is subtle, yet silvery-shrill Her obscure gifts are unfathomable, Yet more momentous than the Burden of a ***** or a curse. |