Untitled

Trauma · 01-30-2008, 12:31 AM

Neglect me like the spine of a gutted dog on a Chinese street.
As I lay dead, lifeless and limp, you must not stop,
Wither, whimper, stare or slouch.
Bend, break, cry or crouch.

Dear God, if you read, read of this humble dog.
He seeks not you, but Another.
(The palindrome is too ironic for his taste)
Too bad he can hardly taste anything anymore.

Crowe · 02-01-2008, 05:59 PM

This is racist. If I were a mod, I'd take it down. :p

enemyat_thesix · 02-01-2008, 07:00 PM

something pig destroyer would write

Trauma · 02-02-2008, 11:10 AM

But no comments for my other poems?!?

Dizzys in the wolf · 02-03-2008, 09:43 AM

You over loaded the first line and it left the rest feeling unbalanced.

Trauma · 02-03-2008, 04:19 PM

Yeah, I agree.

01-30-2008, 12:31 AM	#1 (permalink)
Trauma snickers Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: detroit Posts: 2,194	Untitled Neglect me like the spine of a gutted dog on a Chinese street. As I lay dead, lifeless and limp, you must not stop, Wither, whimper, stare or slouch. Bend, break, cry or crouch. Dear God, if you read, read of this humble dog. He seeks not you, but Another. (The palindrome is too ironic for his taste) Too bad he can hardly taste anything anymore. __________________ A mi no me importa nada Para mi la vida es un sueño

02-01-2008, 05:59 PM	#2 (permalink)
Crowe Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 699	This is racist. If I were a mod, I'd take it down. :p __________________

02-02-2008, 11:10 AM	#4 (permalink)
Trauma snickers Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: detroit Posts: 2,194	But no comments for my other poems?!? __________________ A mi no me importa nada Para mi la vida es un sueño

02-03-2008, 09:43 AM	#5 (permalink)
Dizzys in the wolf Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Ireland Posts: 158	You over loaded the first line and it left the rest feeling unbalanced. __________________ There’s something about seeing this city at night Where we can say what we want and do what we like. These streets are empty but we don't feel alone, We can run in the dark and sleep on the roads.

02-03-2008, 04:19 PM	#6 (permalink)
Trauma snickers Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: detroit Posts: 2,194	Yeah, I agree. __________________ A mi no me importa nada Para mi la vida es un sueño