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Old 12-19-2007, 08:46 PM   #1 (permalink)
Ace
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 714
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Meh. Once again, I'll encourage to kind of stay off the well worn out path of angst, and try writing about a different topic. However, I feel that you did alright on the verses, even though I didn't care for the chorus at all. Keep a consistant style from verse to chorus, and it'll all mix well.
Verse 1 rhymes a bit too much, unless the song is very slow paced. I do advise you write on another topic though, as "I'm a fake, a mistake" is generally a turn off to most people. Keep writing.
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Last edited by Ace; 12-19-2007 at 09:38 PM.
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