the treaty of versailles in less than 5 minutes (fan, Atmosphere)

xcult_classicx · 12-15-2007, 10:43 AM

the treaty of versailles in 5 minutes or less

the sound of my heartbeat numbs my ears with the noise of artillery fire and cluster bombs. planes fly above us tracing curves and drawing patterns in the atmosphere. our names are spelled, our banners are lifted, bilateral agreements are signed. it's a long way to the other side of the room, the path is long and winding. the roads that spill between the teeth and the fingernails are the only roads that lead back home. it takes a while to walk back, but it's the best way to go. home is where the heart is, and my heart is back the way i came. into the trenches again, into the trenches, paco.

Dizzys in the wolf · 12-15-2007, 10:50 AM

Its a pretty cool poem! Its a nice concept and it seems like you've tried to put a bit of detail in to the actual character in the last line which is nice.

xcult_classicx · 12-15-2007, 11:39 AM

thanks, man.

PaperHurricanesAndPlanes · 12-15-2007, 12:05 PM

Not a fan of the structure....

shacora123 · 03-05-2013, 02:09 PM

this si boring

shacora123 · 03-05-2013, 02:10 PM

boring

12-15-2007, 10:43 AM	#1 (permalink)
xcult_classicx Offset Guitar Operator Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Manila, Philippines Posts: 1,149	the treaty of versailles in less than 5 minutes the treaty of versailles in 5 minutes or less the sound of my heartbeat numbs my ears with the noise of artillery fire and cluster bombs. planes fly above us tracing curves and drawing patterns in the atmosphere. our names are spelled, our banners are lifted, bilateral agreements are signed. it's a long way to the other side of the room, the path is long and winding. the roads that spill between the teeth and the fingernails are the only roads that lead back home. it takes a while to walk back, but it's the best way to go. home is where the heart is, and my heart is back the way i came. into the trenches again, into the trenches, paco.

12-15-2007, 10:50 AM	#2 (permalink)
Dizzys in the wolf Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Ireland Posts: 158	Its a pretty cool poem! Its a nice concept and it seems like you've tried to put a bit of detail in to the actual character in the last line which is nice. __________________ There’s something about seeing this city at night Where we can say what we want and do what we like. These streets are empty but we don't feel alone, We can run in the dark and sleep on the roads.

03-05-2013, 02:10 PM	#6 (permalink)
shacora123 Groupie Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 2	lol boring

12-15-2007, 11:39 AM	#3 (permalink)
xcult_classicx Offset Guitar Operator Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Manila, Philippines Posts: 1,149	thanks, man.

03-05-2013, 02:09 PM	#5 (permalink)
shacora123 Groupie Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 2	this si boring