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12-07-2007, 04:35 PM | #1 (permalink) |
you are freakin out, man
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: ajax, ontario
Posts: 129
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First song in a long time
These Walls Have Ears and Fangs and Fears
------------------------------------------- Before I cared that there was heaven Before I learned how to feel sorrow I dreamt of how I would die here tonight, up in arms Instead I’ll be in yours by tomorrow To fulfill my purpose I’d slaughter any dream before the end But as long as my hope is dead I can’t avenge my fallen friends And nothing can save a wretch like me No grace, no faith, no sympathy So build me up, they don’t exist Yet I’ve been haunted for so long Even if I was at fault in this Aren’t they too dead to still feel wronged? Now mornings turn to evenings, and evenings melt into dreamscapes There’s a lifetime worth of reasons to follow home the paths these feet made And just then, as I realized that now wasn’t my time to die An epitaph of shooting stars grieved its way across the sky Now I’ve devoured half my life, and there’s no time to live the rest If I can make this one thing right, I’ll save you with my last request ‘Cause when this all began that day, amidst the fights our blindness found I thought of you, now worlds away, and so I laid my weapons down -------------------------------------------------- haha i have so much to catch up on, i haven't been on in so long c4c, you know the deal |
12-07-2007, 06:14 PM | #2 (permalink) | |
Ban Captain Caveman
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In The Realms of Poetry
Posts: 560
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Not fond of the title. This seems to be about someone whose either been to war, or totally wasted there life. Its quite good, though.
Now mornings turn to evenings, and evenings melt into dreamscapes There’s a lifetime worth of reasons to follow home the paths these feet made And just then, as I realized that now wasn’t my time to die An epitaph of shooting stars grieved its way across the sky ^ That was quite, quite nice. So build me up, they don’t exist Instead I’ll be in yours by tomorrow ^ Not fond of these two lines though. They just bug me. Dunno why. 6/10.
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12-08-2007, 08:00 AM | #3 (permalink) |
Music Addict
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ireland
Posts: 158
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I write a lot of songs about growing up, is that what this is about? Its not a bad song, but sometimes you kinda come to your own conclusions about things without explaining what exactly you're on about to the reader or listener.
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There’s something about seeing this city at night
Where we can say what we want and do what we like. These streets are empty but we don't feel alone, We can run in the dark and sleep on the roads. |
12-10-2007, 12:31 PM | #5 (permalink) |
Groupie
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: East Lansing, MI
Posts: 21
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Very good! I'm willing to bet you've served in Iraq or Afghanistan.
One technical criticism: And nothing can save a wretch like me No grace, no faith, no sympathy These words don't really rhyme, because words only rhyme if the stressed syllables have the same vowel, and the first syllable of sympathy is stressed. |
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