Winding Roads (lyrics, bling, mic, quote, songs)

TheCaster · 12-07-2007, 09:08 AM

Not one of my better ones, any suggestions? I tried to lengthen the stanzas but it ended up sounding like a bunch of rambling :/

These feelings bottled up inside
I'm not sure whats going on
Whats happening to me?
Im falling apart

Chorus:
In all these winding roads
They're all mixing and crossing
Im losing my mind

Ive ended up behind the wall
torn away from you
Im left here unforgiven
forgotten and alone

Chorus

Which one to take
they all look comforting
but behind the curtain
lies the beast within

Chorus

Where have i gone?
What path have i taken
One wrong turn and im lost
What has it come to.

Chorus

Ive taken the wrong path
I lay here crying as i think of what could of been
Theres no telling what i could've become
But ive taken the wrong path
Now i lay here broken

Kevorkian Logic · 12-08-2007, 01:11 PM

It sounds like a standard song, nothing too special, nothing to terrible.

Dizzys in the wolf · 12-08-2007, 01:18 PM

You should probabily try and add a more organised rhyme scheme to it, it might hold it together a little tighter.

TheCaster · 12-08-2007, 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kevorkian Logic

It sounds like a standard song, nothing too special, nothing to terrible.

I just started writing like a month ago, so im not trying anything too crazy yet :P

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dizzys in the wolf

You should probabily try and add a more organised rhyme scheme to it, it might hold it together a little tighter.

Good lord i know, i have so much trouble with rhyme schemes, i try to make it flow into a song more than rhyme with it... which is kind of hard unless i post me playing it up here..

Dizzys in the wolf · 12-08-2007, 01:57 PM

Yeah I know what you mean, sometimes it works better not to have a rhyme scheme. I'd love to hear you playing sometime though if you have any mp3s. Do people normally spend that long on songs?

TheCaster · 12-08-2007, 04:11 PM

Well is more like i get basic lyrics, then i get a guitar riff in my head, then play it on the guitar, change it around, change the lyrics to flow nicely with the song, and voila i have a song

And i sadly have no way of recording my music

and im too poor to invest in anything

Dizzys in the wolf · 12-10-2007, 11:24 AM

^^ i bought a cheap pc mic at a local computer shop for about £6 and it works really well with just a free downloaded recording software.

acenoface · 12-10-2007, 12:04 PM

Sorry, but writing good lyrics requires more effort than that. You need to at least pick a constant thyme scheme for the verses. I used to write lyrics too fast, too, but I get better results after I read some books and took a class in lyric writing.

Keep writing!

TheCaster · 12-11-2007, 01:17 PM

uhm there is a scheme and its well layed out, you just have to read it and understand it to get the scheme.... i used alot of metaphors and allegorys so you probably just didnt catch it... but i spent a good 2 months on this song..

TheCaster · 12-17-2007, 08:45 AM

c'mon kiddies gimme some advice!

12-07-2007, 09:08 AM	#1 (permalink)
TheCaster Music Rapist Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Somewhere in the U.S Posts: 400	Winding Roads Not one of my better ones, any suggestions? I tried to lengthen the stanzas but it ended up sounding like a bunch of rambling :/ These feelings bottled up inside I'm not sure whats going on Whats happening to me? Im falling apart Chorus: In all these winding roads They're all mixing and crossing Im losing my mind Ive ended up behind the wall torn away from you Im left here unforgiven forgotten and alone Chorus Which one to take they all look comforting but behind the curtain lies the beast within Chorus Where have i gone? What path have i taken One wrong turn and im lost What has it come to. Chorus Ive taken the wrong path I lay here crying as i think of what could of been Theres no telling what i could've become But ive taken the wrong path Now i lay here broken __________________ A soul in tension thats learning to fly Condition grounded but determined to try Cant keep my eyes from the circling skies Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit

12-08-2007, 01:11 PM	#2 (permalink)
Kevorkian Logic Imperfectly Perfect Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: North Carolina Posts: 1,290	It sounds like a standard song, nothing too special, nothing to terrible. __________________ "it is only through a limitless accumulation of the imperfect that a certain type of perfection can be attained"

12-08-2007, 01:18 PM	#3 (permalink)
Dizzys in the wolf Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Ireland Posts: 158	You should probabily try and add a more organised rhyme scheme to it, it might hold it together a little tighter. __________________ There’s something about seeing this city at night Where we can say what we want and do what we like. These streets are empty but we don't feel alone, We can run in the dark and sleep on the roads.

12-08-2007, 01:57 PM	#5 (permalink)
Dizzys in the wolf Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Ireland Posts: 158	Yeah I know what you mean, sometimes it works better not to have a rhyme scheme. I'd love to hear you playing sometime though if you have any mp3s. Do people normally spend that long on songs? __________________ There’s something about seeing this city at night Where we can say what we want and do what we like. These streets are empty but we don't feel alone, We can run in the dark and sleep on the roads.

12-08-2007, 04:11 PM	#6 (permalink)
TheCaster Music Rapist Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Somewhere in the U.S Posts: 400	Well is more like i get basic lyrics, then i get a guitar riff in my head, then play it on the guitar, change it around, change the lyrics to flow nicely with the song, and voila i have a song And i sadly have no way of recording my music and im too poor to invest in anything __________________ A soul in tension thats learning to fly Condition grounded but determined to try Cant keep my eyes from the circling skies Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit

12-10-2007, 11:24 AM	#7 (permalink)
Dizzys in the wolf Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Ireland Posts: 158	^^ i bought a cheap pc mic at a local computer shop for about £6 and it works really well with just a free downloaded recording software. __________________ There’s something about seeing this city at night Where we can say what we want and do what we like. These streets are empty but we don't feel alone, We can run in the dark and sleep on the roads.

12-10-2007, 12:04 PM	#8 (permalink)
acenoface Groupie Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: East Lansing, MI Posts: 21	Sorry, but writing good lyrics requires more effort than that. You need to at least pick a constant thyme scheme for the verses. I used to write lyrics too fast, too, but I get better results after I read some books and took a class in lyric writing. Keep writing! __________________

12-11-2007, 01:17 PM	#9 (permalink)
TheCaster Music Rapist Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Somewhere in the U.S Posts: 400	uhm there is a scheme and its well layed out, you just have to read it and understand it to get the scheme.... i used alot of metaphors and allegorys so you probably just didnt catch it... but i spent a good 2 months on this song.. __________________ A soul in tension thats learning to fly Condition grounded but determined to try Cant keep my eyes from the circling skies Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit

12-17-2007, 08:45 AM	#10 (permalink)
TheCaster Music Rapist Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Somewhere in the U.S Posts: 400	c'mon kiddies gimme some advice! __________________ A soul in tension thats learning to fly Condition grounded but determined to try Cant keep my eyes from the circling skies Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit