Tear-stained Eyes
 

You sitting there in their pain
Tearing at your veins
Breaking skin on your cold wrist
Clenching your blood-stained fist
Pain is flowing in your nerves
But you know its' what you deserve
Fills the air with writhing cries
Staring through your tear-stained eyes.

... i meant 2 put this in EMO dammit... or wateva

It doesn't even belong in the emo forum. It belongs in the songwriting forum and this is so cliche I don't see any further point in commenting on it.

uhm, i suggest starting over...

this is honestly so bad i want to cry

Conveniently this songs purpose seems to be to make people want to cry.

i hate you.

my eyes hurt

Blatant flaming is becoming more than tolerable on this forum, it seems. However, I agree whole heartedly. The nursery rhyming completely throws out any good qualities of this work, (which there were none either way), and it's entirely too emo.

Constructive critisism should be standard here.
Especially from other writers.
Flaming is fine, if it's done with humour and a bit of advice.

It was terrible though. :/

Room for improvement?

Don't encourage this