im slipping away from everything (cover, Hang) - Music Banter Music Banter

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Old 11-30-2007, 06:22 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default im slipping away from everything

You believed you could change me but you didn't

you pretty much had me in a grasp
of what i thought what a deadly and slow beginning
than it lead to a story of hurt.

it involved you with your screaming and hatred
toward one you used to love and charish
and hold with you forever.
i've gone through too much
you've reacted much differently than i had hoped.
you brought upon me something that i dont think i will recover from
or ever forget.
i dont believe i ever asked for your words
when i told you everything that i would think.

tears fall from my eyes as i lay in bed every night.
and its you who should be feeling sorry.
not me.

you only thought if you could make me feel worse
than you have accomplished something.
the only thing you have succeeded
is making someone feel like they dont belong with you.

you will never have anyone with the ways you act.
and with the heart in you.
it will turn cold before you ever know.

Last edited by under; 11-30-2007 at 10:46 PM.
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Old 11-30-2007, 10:10 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Problems i see:
with the changes" seems out of place
tears from skin" sounds wierd..

This is great stuff i do say
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Condition grounded but determined to try
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Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit
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Old 11-30-2007, 10:47 PM   #3 (permalink)
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thank ya. i fixed it. perhaps its better
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