need some feedback (positive or negative) (bling, songs)

errett · 11-26-2007, 06:07 PM

its not finished yet but heres some of it....

i never knew what it was to miss someone
until i lose the only one i never wanted to disapoint
and i know the songs that make me think of her
would only make her think of the person that
is obviously the person that does it for her
the person she gives her all to
the person she never wants to lose
i tried to be that person for her
but i guess i wasnt good enough
in the end she was just that person for me

i never knew what it was to want something
until i spent countless hours waiting for her to call
and i know the time i spend waiting is the time
she spends getting over me and moving on
theres nothing i could ever give because
theres nothing worth the sound of her telling me
she loves me with her sweet soft voice

anyways there it is, not sure about that last line but like i said its not finished

TheCaster · 11-27-2007, 12:51 PM

This seems more like a rant of sadness. than a song... it doesnt flow too well, and in parts it seems like your rambling :/ sorry if im a bit critical

Rambling part:
and i know the songs that make me think of her
would only make her think of the person that
is obviously the person that does it for her

Ranting part:
the person she gives her all to
the person she never wants to lose
i tried to be that person for her
but i guess i wasnt good enough
in the end she was just that person for me

Hope that helps a bit?

11-26-2007, 06:07 PM	#1 (permalink)
errett Groupie Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Greenville, South Carolina Posts: 2	need some feedback (positive or negative) its not finished yet but heres some of it.... i never knew what it was to miss someone until i lose the only one i never wanted to disapoint and i know the songs that make me think of her would only make her think of the person that is obviously the person that does it for her the person she gives her all to the person she never wants to lose i tried to be that person for her but i guess i wasnt good enough in the end she was just that person for me i never knew what it was to want something until i spent countless hours waiting for her to call and i know the time i spend waiting is the time she spends getting over me and moving on theres nothing i could ever give because theres nothing worth the sound of her telling me she loves me with her sweet soft voice anyways there it is, not sure about that last line but like i said its not finished __________________ Life is short, a midget told me that. Ya Dig?

11-27-2007, 12:51 PM	#2 (permalink)
TheCaster Music Rapist Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Somewhere in the U.S Posts: 400	This seems more like a rant of sadness. than a song... it doesnt flow too well, and in parts it seems like your rambling :/ sorry if im a bit critical Rambling part: and i know the songs that make me think of her would only make her think of the person that is obviously the person that does it for her Ranting part: the person she gives her all to the person she never wants to lose i tried to be that person for her but i guess i wasnt good enough in the end she was just that person for me Hope that helps a bit?