Urban Hat€monger ?

Or you could just say 'Thanks for your help but that's not what i'm after'

You complain when people don't help you and when they try to this is what they get in return. Anymore of this and i'm closing the thread.

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DontRunMeOver

Ok, here are topics to stop you whining.

1. The eyes of potatoes are not actually eyes, they are instead cameras installed by a race of underground creatures commonly mistaken for moles. So far the underground creatures have learned a lot about supermarkets, kitchens and Ireland. Chips were originally invented to beat the creatures at their dastardly game, but this original reason has since been forgotten.

2. A young man grew an e-penis. This was a second penis, which appeared as a hologram just above his original penis. It didn't have any physical substance, he couldn't use it for excretory or sexual purposes as it was just a phallic bundle of light but it remained there nevertheless, hanging out of his trousers and offending passers by.

3. A school teacher in Sudan allowed her pupils to name their class teddy bear 'Muhammed'. The teacher was tried for her offences against religion and sentenced to 40 lashes. Just as the lashmaster general was preparing the first crack of his long whippy appendage Big Blue Lord Krishna descended from above, landed with a flash of light and a great thud and smote the lashman with has Big Blue Lingham Of Doom.

4. If you eat the right cheeses in the right order you can commune with the dead and if you get it perfect they can give you fantastic betting advice.

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