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11-24-2007, 05:03 PM | #1 (permalink) |
Account Disabled
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,056
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[untitled] new...ish
Why...?
Why is it this way, how come if I attempt something, it ends up being something, where someone finds it wrong, or a discrace to society. Doesn't make sense, so what, i paint my nails, i shave my legs, I do what anyone could do. Why am I punished? There's really one resolution to the pain I feel, but i'm not the kind of person, who has the will to do so. I try to go through my life, as if it's just going on. I avoid all the obstacles I can. Apparently i've hit the biggest one. What to do? Who to go to? Where to go? Questions that haunt my mind along with, Am I here for a reason? Does someone out there really care? and most of all, Why? So, my life, can be a representation, of a Living Hell, except for one thing, Hell doesn't live. Perhaps if I try hard enough, maybe it will... |
11-24-2007, 09:43 PM | #2 (permalink) |
Registered Jimmy Rustler
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 5,360
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Thats pretty good, but i have a few tips for you.
1. Try to avoid using words like society (line) because there very generic and dont sound good. Just like in writing a report or story, overusing words like that is not a good thing. 2. Maybe its just me, but how this song is set up gives me the impression of it being vry hard to put into a real song, and be sang. Keep truckin!
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*Best chance of losing virginity is in prison crew* *Always Checks Credentials Crew* *nba > nfl crew* *Shave one of my legs to pretend its a girl in my bed crew* |
11-25-2007, 01:03 AM | #4 (permalink) |
Registered Jimmy Rustler
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 5,360
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ahh i see. ij ust assumed it was a song because of the title of the forum (song writing)
__________________
*Best chance of losing virginity is in prison crew* *Always Checks Credentials Crew* *nba > nfl crew* *Shave one of my legs to pretend its a girl in my bed crew* |
11-25-2007, 01:35 AM | #5 (permalink) |
Account Disabled
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,056
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yeah.
i talked with ethan. and he said poetry is also allowed. so i decided to put poetry up i'll try to be more flexible on letting people know if its a song or poem. sometimes its easy other times its confusing as hell. |
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