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I Sin, You Sin
(folk-punk song I wrote)
If the afterlife is real I really hope I end up in Hell 'cause that's where all my friends are gonna be But if somehow I go to Heaven I'm gonna throw the biggest tantrum Jesus Christ himself did ever see I'm not a bad person I just do bad things You're not a good person You just don't do anything I could be just like you I could sit inside and read the Bible everyday You could be just like me You could go outside and see the world and have some fun But I'll never be like you 'cause I don't wanna sit inside and read the ****ing Bible And you'll never be like me 'cause you're too ****ing scared to see what's in front of you I'm not a bad person I just do bad things (sometimes!) You're not a good person You just don't do anything (what a shame!) (by the way, I can't think of a good title for this; the thread title was just to avoid 'Untitled') |
I think it's terribly immature if you want my honest opinion. The lyrics are no different to what I have heard a thousand times before. Surprising considering you have a fairly decent knowledge of metal and it's numoreous sub-genres.
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you obviously aren't familiar with folk-punk but thanks for the feedback |
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It reads like a sentence, not a song.
"If the afterlife is real I really hope I end up in Hell, 'cause that's where all my friends are gonna be." ^Just an example. |
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see Ghost Mice; This Bike Is A Pipe Bomb; Defiance, Ohio; Andrew Jackson Jihad basically anything off Plan-It-X Records and Kevorkian, I don't know what kind of music you listen to, but a lot of it is written in sentence style... anyway, it flows perfectly and naturally as a song |
I think it is terrible.
It's also pretty bad that you say it "Flows perfectly". For starters, we can't hear the flow. Second, there is no perfect in music. Third, if there was a perfect, you'd be more than a little up yourself for saying that about your own song. Anyway, better luck next time!:basketbal |
lol
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"I could be just like you
I could sit inside and read the Bible everyday You could be just like me You could go outside and see the world and have some fun" :-/ i didn't find it particularly interesting, far too cliche and boring, not saying i could do any better... |
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