new to song writting. Feedback please (punk, quote)

kerrrig · 09-10-2007, 09:46 PM

You say you care but do you dare
You call this love it's so unfair
You raise your hand, I bow my head
I'll fear your love untill I'm dead

You say it's love and protection too
But who is here to protect me from you
I try to see and understand
But I'm just a child against a man

When does the pain end and love begin
When can I live my life
When does the pain end and the love begin
Can you tell me why

I try to run but there's nowhere to go
So I'll be brave and won't let my terror show

You say it's love and protection too
when will someone protect me from you

When does the pain end and love begin
When can I live my life
When does the pain end and the love begin
Can you tell me why

anticipation · 09-11-2007, 07:15 PM

love is cliche
feelings are cliche
songwriting is cliche
posting criticms is cliche.

ObiSobi · 09-13-2007, 07:16 PM

That was good! Just a little work and I could see that in a song.

~~CAPTAIN CAVEMAN~~ · 09-13-2007, 07:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gentleman Johnny

love is cliche
feelings are cliche
songwriting is cliche
posting criticms is cliche.

punk

anticipation · 09-13-2007, 09:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The-Starving-Artless

punk

<33

09-10-2007, 09:46 PM	#1 (permalink)
kerrrig Groupie Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 1	new to song writting. Feedback please You say you care but do you dare You call this love it's so unfair You raise your hand, I bow my head I'll fear your love untill I'm dead You say it's love and protection too But who is here to protect me from you I try to see and understand But I'm just a child against a man When does the pain end and love begin When can I live my life When does the pain end and the love begin Can you tell me why I try to run but there's nowhere to go So I'll be brave and won't let my terror show You say it's love and protection too when will someone protect me from you When does the pain end and love begin When can I live my life When does the pain end and the love begin Can you tell me why

09-11-2007, 07:15 PM	#2 (permalink)
anticipation Music Addict Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 3,565	love is cliche feelings are cliche songwriting is cliche posting criticms is cliche.

09-13-2007, 07:16 PM	#3 (permalink)
ObiSobi Destroyer of Guitars Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Arizona Posts: 147	That was good! Just a little work and I could see that in a song.