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07-16-2007, 12:21 AM | #1 (permalink) |
Music Addict
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Berkeley, California
Posts: 697
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Seasons of Change
Ok, so this the first poem I've ever written outside of school so don't be too harsh. It probably sucks badly, especially considered I wrote it in 30 seconds.
Spring has come and you feel alone, summer is here and you sit so pretty, so lonely still, but look it's cold out, and I have gone, I have left you; your old armor gone, out here where winter now has risen, maybe I'll come back in spring, to drag you from the depths of fall. |
07-16-2007, 12:57 PM | #4 (permalink) |
Music Addict
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Ohio
Posts: 100
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It doesn't really make sense. I'm not really going to go too deep into why, because you seem unconfident about it as well and probably know what's wrong with it. Just keep writing and reading poems and really digging into what makes them good and how you can use some of that in your own writing.
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