more of a poem...

sleepy jack · 06-29-2007, 12:18 AM

I just got pwnt.

Blain · 06-29-2007, 04:10 AM

I lol'd

cheriejrfan · 07-01-2007, 01:12 AM

So are we having fun yet??

Divide and Fall Apart · 07-01-2007, 09:34 AM

Did you post this poem on here to get honest opinions on it.....or for people to tell you how good it is.

Cos really I can do either.

cheriejrfan · 07-01-2007, 03:05 PM

I was just hoping to get some feedback. How is it, If it needs work then some suggestions would be nice..

Divide and Fall Apart · 07-01-2007, 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheriejrfan

I was just hoping to get some feedback. How is it, If it needs work then some suggestions would be nice..

Its a nice poem.....not sure whether it could be turned into a song though! But its a good story, Im not exactly a poetry expert, lol, but it was a good read.

cheriejrfan · 07-01-2007, 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Divide and Fall Apart

Its a nice poem.....not sure whether it could be turned into a song though! But its a good story, Im not exactly a poetry expert, lol, but it was a good read.

Thank You..

Crowe · 07-03-2007, 03:34 PM

Damn crowq put on blast by the new guy,

creepinson · 07-04-2007, 02:35 PM

Hey man, why does everyone gotta be hatin? I think if you're starting out poetry its an alright start, but i also think that if people give you their honest opinion of something, and its not very good (which lets face it, it really isn't) i don't think the first thing you should do is lash out, particularly at writers like crowquill, who have already more than proven themselves with a variety of usually.... often.... sometimes brilliant pieces of work. While your use of repetition did give a bit of extra zing to your final stanza, I think that in time you will find better ways to bring attention to certain ideas and concepts you wish to highlight.

more writing, less pwning!

oh, and somebody leave some damn comments on mah 2 last threads! Lawl><><0|25!

cheriejrfan · 07-05-2007, 09:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by creepinson

Hey man, why does everyone gotta be hatin? I think if you're starting out poetry its an alright start, but i also think that if people give you their honest opinion of something, and its not very good (which lets face it, it really isn't) i don't think the first thing you should do is lash out, particularly at writers like crowquill, who have already more than proven themselves with a variety of usually.... often.... sometimes brilliant pieces of work. While your use of repetition did give a bit of extra zing to your final stanza, I think that in time you will find better ways to bring attention to certain ideas and concepts you wish to highlight.

more writing, less pwning!

oh, and somebody leave some damn comments on mah 2 last threads! Lawl><><0|25!

Just saying it is terrible is not giving me any kind of feedback, you on the other hand gave me something to think about and try, Thank You.

07-01-2007, 01:12 AM	#13 (permalink)
cheriejrfan Groupie Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: TEXAS Posts: 13	So are we having fun yet?? __________________ Best Kept Secret In The South...... Texas Girls!!

07-01-2007, 09:34 AM	#14 (permalink)
Divide and Fall Apart Groupie Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 38	Did you post this poem on here to get honest opinions on it.....or for people to tell you how good it is. Cos really I can do either. __________________ We all got wood and nails, and we turn out hate in factories [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

07-01-2007, 03:05 PM	#15 (permalink)
cheriejrfan Groupie Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: TEXAS Posts: 13	I was just hoping to get some feedback. How is it, If it needs work then some suggestions would be nice.. __________________ Best Kept Secret In The South...... Texas Girls!!

07-03-2007, 03:34 PM	#18 (permalink)
Crowe Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 699	Damn crowq put on blast by the new guy, __________________

06-29-2007, 04:10 AM	#12 (permalink)
Blain w0rd Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Suva, Fiji Posts: 1,034	I lol'd

07-04-2007, 02:35 PM	#19 (permalink)
creepinson you are freakin out, man Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: ajax, ontario Posts: 129	Hey man, why does everyone gotta be hatin? I think if you're starting out poetry its an alright start, but i also think that if people give you their honest opinion of something, and its not very good (which lets face it, it really isn't) i don't think the first thing you should do is lash out, particularly at writers like crowquill, who have already more than proven themselves with a variety of usually.... often.... sometimes brilliant pieces of work. While your use of repetition did give a bit of extra zing to your final stanza, I think that in time you will find better ways to bring attention to certain ideas and concepts you wish to highlight. more writing, less pwning! oh, and somebody leave some damn comments on mah 2 last threads! Lawl><><0\|25!