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Old 06-09-2007, 03:29 AM   #1 (permalink)
They call me Tundra Boy
 
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: In your linen cupboard.
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Default Checkpoint Bomb

I do love Seth Lakeman and all his folk songs about dying or war or soldiers dying in conflict, but the characters are usually seafaring or farming types who lived a few hundred years ago. I thought I'd go for a similar style but make it much more contemporary.

I've written it out as vocal phrases, which is why most of the lines are very short!

Checkpoint Bomb

If I
Had been
Afraid
To die
The life
Of a soldier I would not
Have chosen
As mine

So weep
If you will
Blame
Those I Followed here
But do not pretend
The choice was not mine
Although I did not choose this end
I chose to be here

Where my body
Has turned into sand
My body
Has turned into sand

Carried by desert wind
The ash to which I burn
From whence I came
I return

At my checkpoint
There came
A driver
With distant eyes
His gaze
Met mine
We were both
prepared to die

His arm
A single twitch
The laws of science
Did the rest
Thunderclap
Flash of light
A gust of air
And we were gone

My body
Has turned into sand
My body
Has turned into sand

Carried by desert wind
The ash to which I burn
From whence I came
I return
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Originally Posted by Katyppfan View Post
When Pete plays it is 100% live , your music if that's what you call it doesn't sound so good either? so you can't really critercize can you ?

Last edited by DontRunMeOver; 06-09-2007 at 03:36 AM.
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Old 06-09-2007, 10:18 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default

Try making the longer lines shorter so it flows better.
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