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05-19-2007, 08:00 PM | #1 (permalink) |
snickers
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: detroit
Posts: 2,194
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The Pursuit
I'd like to work on my rhymed verse poetry, but I really liked this blank verse poem I wrote, and would like to share it with MB.
P.S. It's metaphorical. "The Pursuit" I was in the playground when Time arrived. Wishing to converse with it, I jumped off the carousel, and followed it, departing from the green grass. When Time passed through a wrought-iron gateway, I began to sprint. Pushing forward in a final desperate attempt to throw my arm on its shoulder, I caught my breath instead. At that moment, my eyes captured a stranger they had never apprehended before. But he, being more agile, tripped me mid-thought, laying my body in the dust. Looking up at him, his coy grin fell on me, empowered by some secret malice. I knew then that this was Existence, his fiery countenance glinting off the metal spade in his right hand, a complement to the trillions of graves scattered in the cemetary behind him. I lowered my gaze to Time, its arms resting restlessly on a wheelbarrow, standing next to the Entrance, laughing. -Jake V. 5/15/07
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A mi no me importa nada Para mi la vida es un sueño Last edited by Trauma; 06-05-2007 at 07:22 PM. |
05-19-2007, 08:09 PM | #2 (permalink) | |
isfckingdead
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 18,967
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Quote:
Other than that, excellent as always. Is there a reason time and entrance are capitalized? |
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