Need (lyrics, alternative, solo, shows, quote) - Music Banter Music Banter

Go Back   Music Banter > Artists Corner > Song Writing, Lyrics and Poetry
Register Blogging Today's Posts
Welcome to Music Banter Forum! Make sure to register - it's free and very quick! You have to register before you can post and participate in our discussions with over 70,000 other registered members. After you create your free account, you will be able to customize many options, you will have the full access to over 1,100,000 posts.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-09-2007, 08:50 PM   #1 (permalink)
Account Disabled
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Joplin, MO
Posts: 468
Default Need

Heh, heh, I'm getting there,
Heh, heh, alarm sounds,
heh, heh, roll out of bed,
heh, heh, turn on the coffe pot,
heh, heh, brisk over the paper,
heh, heh, I'm on time for work,
heh, heh, hey everyone,
'Hey Jim, how's it going?'
eh, heh, heh, well, sblehsblehsbleh,
'Oh, you can sbleh that again'
Ahahahahahahahahahaha,
'Ahahahahahahahahahaha',
heh, heh, I'm getting there,

heh, heh, walk around to the corner store,
heh, heh, meet an old acquaintance,
heh, heh, shoot the breeze,
heh, heh, I'm getting there,

heh, heh, go home and flip on the telly,
heh, heh, wife's cooking up something mighty savory,
heh, heh, kids will be out of school soon,
heh, heh, I'm getting there,

heh, heh, a solemn dinner,
heh, heh, took the time to talk to my kids,
heh, heh, go watch some more telly,
heh, heh, I'm getting there,

heh, heh, rinse off my face,
heh, heh, looking at my cold black eyes,
heh, heh, take some Tylenol PM's,
heh, heh, I'm getting there
TheUsedToolguy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-10-2007, 12:34 PM   #2 (permalink)
Ban Captain Caveman
 
PaperHurricanesAndPlanes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In The Realms of Poetry
Posts: 560
Default

Heh, heh, I hate repetition. And in general this sucks. Was that your best? I hope not.
__________________
Quote:
Wolverinewolfweiselpigeon said:

What's with people dying? Shit.
PaperHurricanesAndPlanes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-10-2007, 12:37 PM   #3 (permalink)
The Sexual Intellectual
 
Urban Hat€monger ?'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Somewhere cooler than you
Posts: 18,605
Default

Did you steal this from Beavis & Butthead?
__________________



Urb's RYM Stuff

Most people sell their soul to the devil, but the devil sells his soul to Nick Cave.
Urban Hat€monger ? is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-10-2007, 12:50 PM   #4 (permalink)
Atchin' Akai
 
right-track's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Unamerica
Posts: 8,723
Default

Are you hyperventilating?
Try breathing into a bag...preferably one made of polythene.
In fact, put it completely over your head.






Only joking...

...not about the lyrics though...they are shite.
right-track is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-10-2007, 01:33 PM   #5 (permalink)
They call me Tundra Boy
 
DontRunMeOver's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: In your linen cupboard.
Posts: 1,166
Default

A tip.

Don't include different background vocals, answering phrases, or anything else that isn't the main part of the main lyric in lyrics that you post here or anywhere else. Maybe they would be heard in a recorded version of the song but while people have to read the lyrics, present them in the way that READS best.

At least he didn't write "awesome guitar solo", "goes down to quiet piano, noise of children playing in the street, video shows day breaking over the colosseum in Rome".
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katyppfan View Post
When Pete plays it is 100% live , your music if that's what you call it doesn't sound so good either? so you can't really critercize can you ?
DontRunMeOver is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-10-2007, 01:46 PM   #6 (permalink)
Me and The Major
 
The Dave's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 1,830
Default

What everyone else said basically. The repitition is rather annoying and the lyrics are just bland.
The Dave is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-10-2007, 03:24 PM   #7 (permalink)
infamous nimbus
 
Jadix's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 140
Default

remove the "heh, heh"s. I like the idea you're going for, it just needs work. dont give up on it.
Jadix is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-11-2007, 10:28 PM   #8 (permalink)
Account Disabled
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Joplin, MO
Posts: 468
Default

It was a song, not a poem
I just used heh heh to get the point across that people always use laughter to break the ice of an uncomfortable situation.
The point I'm making is that people want to be comfortable, and will drink coffee, smoke cigarettes, or laugh in an uncomfortable situation, because they don't like facing uncomfortable situations.
A smart man once said, 'If you're not uncomfortable, you're not growing'
People tell themselves they need food, or they need sex, or they need something to immediately fill their unsatiable need for instant gratification, and live their whole lives like this without even considering any alternatives.
TheUsedToolguy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-12-2007, 12:34 PM   #9 (permalink)
Me and The Major
 
The Dave's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 1,830
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheUsedToolguy View Post
It was a song, not a poem
I just used heh heh to get the point across that people always use laughter to break the ice of an uncomfortable situation.
The point I'm making is that people want to be comfortable, and will drink coffee, smoke cigarettes, or laugh in an uncomfortable situation, because they don't like facing uncomfortable situations.
A smart man once said, 'If you're not uncomfortable, you're not growing'
People tell themselves they need food, or they need sex, or they need something to immediately fill their unsatiable need for instant gratification, and live their whole lives like this without even considering any alternatives.
It is possible to reveal the uncomfortable laughter in a way that doesn't involve starting each line with heh heh.
The Dave is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-13-2007, 04:02 PM   #10 (permalink)
Groupie
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 11
Default

I thought the "heh heh"s added a certin something, a sort of je ne sais quoi air to the whole song. And the strategically placed and repetitous "sbleh" was a nice touch too.

5 stars.
AnastasiaBeaverhousen is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply




© 2003-2024 Advameg, Inc.