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Old 03-14-2007, 03:38 PM   #1 (permalink)
They call me Tundra Boy
 
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Default Vito's Lament

A past, a future
When I came to this country I had none
For each of my crimes I will suffer a thousand damnations
But I had no choice

My children, I implore you
Do not copy me
My children, I implore you
Do not copy me

Don't follow me down, don't follow me down
I would not choose this life for you
Don't follow me down, don't follow me down
I would not choose this life for you

These fine clothes tell nothing of
The guilt, the anguish, the shame
Every gain has come with equal loss
Every joy with equal with pain

My children, I implore you
Do not copy me
My children, I implore you
Do not copy me

Don't follow me down, don't follow me down
I would not choose this life for you
Don't follow me down, don't follow me down
I would not choose this life for you


There might be some grammatical mistakes in this lyric, I really don't know, if there are then please point them out.
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When Pete plays it is 100% live , your music if that's what you call it doesn't sound so good either? so you can't really critercize can you ?

Last edited by DontRunMeOver; 03-16-2007 at 03:17 AM.
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Old 03-14-2007, 04:00 PM   #2 (permalink)
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its alright i didnt really get into it. it just just really dont do much for me and i didnt see any grammer errors, of course my grammer sucks anyway
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Old 03-14-2007, 05:13 PM   #3 (permalink)
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There definitely aren't any grammatical errors. What, are you taking it to a publisher, or something?
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Old 03-14-2007, 05:41 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I like it but you should change some spots just not sure which ones yet
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Old 03-15-2007, 12:58 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I can definitely see it as a folk-punk song, Ghost Mice style.
And grammatically it's A-OK.
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