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Old 03-10-2007, 08:53 PM   #1 (permalink)
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a quick fifteen minute thing i just wrote when i was bored and so i thought why not post cause well i am bored



Its so easy to forget what you have learned,
All those years washed away in a shower of ignorance,
Killing the trust between friends to feed your own sick desires,

But you say it was so easy,
But your crying now.

You always thought you could make it through,
And not be takin In by the moment Of wishes never to come true,
Make your way through fog to the ones you left astray,

And you thought it was so easy,
And your crying now.

Lost what you have and left on your own,
A broken boy without a home,
Its ironic that you hate to be alone,

Always thought it was so damn easy,
And your crying, your crying now
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Last edited by ZeppelinAir; 03-13-2007 at 07:34 PM.
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Old 03-12-2007, 12:51 AM   #2 (permalink)
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bump......

i want someone to give there opinion....please
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Old 03-12-2007, 01:12 AM   #3 (permalink)
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"rain of ignorance"

Change it to shower of ignorance, its a small change but rain of *word here* is overused.

Quote:
And you thought it was so damn easy,
And your crying now.
Take out damn in all but the final one. Its more effective that way.
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Originally Posted by METALLICA89 View Post
Ive seen you on muiltipul forums saying Metallica and slayer are the worst **** you kid go suck your **** while you listen to your ****ing emo **** I bet you do listen to emo music
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Old 03-12-2007, 01:16 AM   #4 (permalink)
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i guess your right it does go better
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Old 03-13-2007, 07:34 PM   #5 (permalink)
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any other opinions?
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Old 03-13-2007, 08:21 PM   #6 (permalink)
Im Just As Sweet!!!:)
 
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I really like it and crowquill was right I cant really find any other bad spots though.....
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