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03-09-2007, 09:38 AM | #1 (permalink) |
Don't think twice
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: A basement on the hill
Posts: 352
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Shaking
you went out like an explosion
ripping up all the walls spitting up timber and dust until nobody could see at all and we all lay about confused picking ourselves up and shaking off the morning with a quickly swallowed month and some words or two we were relatively sane again but it will be the dark nights that get you waking in the dim light of a tv set the rattled colouring of the third reich drowning out the ringing and the flashing of the clock telling you that you messed up again or a brief glimpse in a mirror nestled amongst the grey plaster and unsettling neons telling you that you always came from there and you will always remain that way no matter how many times you double back and shake it off as something else because no one can survive that kind of force those kinds of endings you only ever see in movies they will be the ones that get you the most
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Painstaking devotion and love Surrendered to self preservation From others who care for themselves A blindness that touches perfection But hurts just like anything else Isolation, isolation, isolation Last edited by either/or; 03-12-2007 at 09:03 AM. |
03-09-2007, 02:33 PM | #3 (permalink) | |
Ban Captain Caveman
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In The Realms of Poetry
Posts: 560
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Or if he put "at all" after "anymore" That could work. I'll give this a more full crit later, homez.
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03-12-2007, 09:04 AM | #5 (permalink) |
Don't think twice
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: A basement on the hill
Posts: 352
|
changed, tnaks guys
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Painstaking devotion and love Surrendered to self preservation From others who care for themselves A blindness that touches perfection But hurts just like anything else Isolation, isolation, isolation |