Deadhead (lyrics, quote, songs)

angrejoe32 · 03-04-2007, 10:31 PM

hey everyone, i was really bored and I decided I wanted to write some lyrics...
tell me what you think about them, this is really the first song i've ever written seriously so please take a look and give me some constructive criticism.

Verse:
Im looking up and they're all looking down at me
I want to find the light, cause it's getting hard to see
They'res needles in my brain and ****ing stones in my pee
I'm a deadhead and that's all I'll ever be

Chorus:
I'm so light headed it almost ****ing hurts
My head is going nowhere 'cause I'm listening to Kurt
I feel so dirty just looking at my skin
I wanna take all this **** and just throw it in the bin

When I finish another verse or two I'll post them.

sleepy jack · 03-04-2007, 10:56 PM

I'm going to be honest this is one of the most awful songs i've ever read. The rhyming is so forced and the subject is approached at a lame angle and its just not interesting at all.

Strummer521 · 03-04-2007, 10:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crowquill

I'm going to be honest this is one of the most awful songs i've ever read

Why don't you just tell him to go fuck himself?

sleepy jack · 03-04-2007, 10:59 PM

I know that came across as really mean =/, it wasn't a dig at his personality! I'm sure hes a great guy/girl...

Strummer521 · 03-04-2007, 11:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crowquill

I'm sure hes a great guy/girl...

Hey. Let's not jump the gun. We don't know that yet.

~~TheUsedToolguy~~ · 03-05-2007, 04:02 PM

I like the first two lines. Do you actually have kidney stones? Feeling sorry for you if you do.

acratertocoffin · 03-05-2007, 07:18 PM

Oh my God.

"I wanna take all this **** and just throw it in the bin"

Angrejoe, read what you wrote with a straight face. Can't do it? Neither can anyone else.

~~TheUsedToolguy~~ · 03-05-2007, 07:29 PM

get out of my face w/ a straight face

Sparky · 03-05-2007, 08:45 PM

lol. As long as you weren't being serious with this i like it

acratertocoffin · 03-05-2007, 10:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheUsedToolguy

get out of my face w/ a straight face

Yeah that didn't make any sense. Just saying.

03-04-2007, 10:31 PM	#1 (permalink)
angrejoe32 Groupie Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 4	Deadhead hey everyone, i was really bored and I decided I wanted to write some lyrics... tell me what you think about them, this is really the first song i've ever written seriously so please take a look and give me some constructive criticism. Verse: Im looking up and they're all looking down at me I want to find the light, cause it's getting hard to see They'res needles in my brain and **ing stones in my pee I'm a deadhead and that's all I'll ever be Chorus: I'm so light headed it almost ing hurts My head is going nowhere 'cause I'm listening to Kurt I feel so dirty just looking at my skin I wanna take all this ** and just throw it in the bin When I finish another verse or two I'll post them.

03-05-2007, 04:02 PM	#6 (permalink)
~~TheUsedToolguy~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Joplin, MO Posts: 468	I like the first two lines. Do you actually have kidney stones? Feeling sorry for you if you do.

03-05-2007, 07:29 PM	#8 (permalink)
~~TheUsedToolguy~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Joplin, MO Posts: 468	get out of my face w/ a straight face

03-05-2007, 08:45 PM	#9 (permalink)
Sparky not really Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 5,223	lol. As long as you weren't being serious with this i like it