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02-18-2007, 11:11 PM | #1 (permalink) | |
Ban Captain Caveman
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In The Realms of Poetry
Posts: 560
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The World Order Of Tree Canopies
The World Order Of Tree Canopies
Oh, the leaves won tonight. But what a fight. And now we're all dead. But the leaves are satisfied, Because they won tonight; bloody bystanders. Our gunfire ripped through the trees. As they spurt sap, We needed energy To fight our enemies, And so we sipped. Evergreens shattered, We could hear it miles away. Our face paint smeared from sweat. Our boots took us through it all, tattered. Our hands pulled at triggers, wet. We prayed they didn’t slip. Vietnam looks in jealousy At the hell we’ve created. World War I bows in shame at our horror. World War II looks in shock and awe. P-51’s fall; bleeding smoke, Watching dodging P-47’s. F-14’s explode upon missile impact. Dogfight of the century. Look at the wolves that lie dead around us. The bugs, the birds, all bleeding. Leaves hide, from bullets. Some shot apart; casualties of crossfire. A new world order; New Leaf Emerges from the rising smoke. An order of peace, of nature, Pure and clean. Hellish Armageddon no longer overwhelms. No more murderer, no more thief.
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02-22-2007, 09:24 PM | #3 (permalink) | |
Long time no see
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: somewhere in Michigan
Posts: 512
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this one i like, i like the parts
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not that old signature |
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02-23-2007, 10:30 AM | #5 (permalink) |
They call me Tundra Boy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: In your linen cupboard.
Posts: 1,166
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These lines...
"And now we're all dead." "We needed energy To fight our enemies, And so we sipped." ... weren't as good as the rest. "And now we're all dead", well maybe it works but it seems a bit plonky. The other three lines, I'm not sure what purpose they serve. I don't know what's being sipped and don't know why the part about energy is there. The rest was really good. |
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