The World Order Of Tree Canopies (quote, Ching, hands) - Music Banter Music Banter

Go Back   Music Banter > Artists Corner > Song Writing, Lyrics and Poetry
Register Blogging Today's Posts
Welcome to Music Banter Forum! Make sure to register - it's free and very quick! You have to register before you can post and participate in our discussions with over 70,000 other registered members. After you create your free account, you will be able to customize many options, you will have the full access to over 1,100,000 posts.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-18-2007, 11:11 PM   #1 (permalink)
Ban Captain Caveman
 
PaperHurricanesAndPlanes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In The Realms of Poetry
Posts: 560
Exclamation The World Order Of Tree Canopies

The World Order Of Tree Canopies

Oh, the leaves won tonight.
But what a fight.
And now we're all dead.
But the leaves are satisfied,
Because they won tonight; bloody bystanders.

Our gunfire ripped through the trees.
As they spurt sap,
We needed energy
To fight our enemies,
And so we sipped.

Evergreens shattered,
We could hear it miles away.
Our face paint smeared from sweat.
Our boots took us through it all, tattered.
Our hands pulled at triggers, wet.
We prayed they didn’t slip.

Vietnam looks in jealousy
At the hell we’ve created.
World War I bows in shame at our horror.
World War II looks in shock and awe.

P-51’s fall; bleeding smoke,
Watching dodging P-47’s.
F-14’s explode upon missile impact.
Dogfight of the century.

Look at the wolves that lie dead around us.
The bugs, the birds, all bleeding.
Leaves hide, from bullets.
Some shot apart; casualties of crossfire.

A new world order; New Leaf
Emerges from the rising smoke.
An order of peace, of nature,
Pure and clean.

Hellish Armageddon no longer overwhelms.
No more murderer, no more thief.
__________________
Quote:
Wolverinewolfweiselpigeon said:

What's with people dying? Shit.
PaperHurricanesAndPlanes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2007, 12:00 AM   #2 (permalink)
Ban Captain Caveman
 
PaperHurricanesAndPlanes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In The Realms of Poetry
Posts: 560
Default

Bump.
__________________
Quote:
Wolverinewolfweiselpigeon said:

What's with people dying? Shit.
PaperHurricanesAndPlanes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2007, 09:24 PM   #3 (permalink)
Long time no see
 
ZeppelinAir's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: somewhere in Michigan
Posts: 512
Default

this one i like, i like the parts
Quote:
Vietnam looks in jealousy
At the hell we’ve created.
World War I bows in shame at our horror.
World War II looks in shock and awe.

P-51’s fall; bleeding smoke,
Watching dodging P-47’s.
F-14’s explode upon missile impact.
Dogfight of the century.
, i like those the most, had a good image in my mind from that
__________________
not that old signature
ZeppelinAir is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-23-2007, 08:16 AM   #4 (permalink)
Imperfectly Perfect
 
Kevorkian Logic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 1,290
Default

Excellent, good imagery, good diction.
__________________
"it is only through a limitless accumulation of the imperfect that a certain type of perfection can be attained"
Kevorkian Logic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-23-2007, 10:30 AM   #5 (permalink)
They call me Tundra Boy
 
DontRunMeOver's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: In your linen cupboard.
Posts: 1,166
Default

These lines...

"And now we're all dead."

"We needed energy
To fight our enemies,
And so we sipped."

... weren't as good as the rest.

"And now we're all dead", well maybe it works but it seems a bit plonky. The other three lines, I'm not sure what purpose they serve. I don't know what's being sipped and don't know why the part about energy is there.

The rest was really good.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katyppfan View Post
When Pete plays it is 100% live , your music if that's what you call it doesn't sound so good either? so you can't really critercize can you ?
DontRunMeOver is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Similar Threads



© 2003-2024 Advameg, Inc.