ItsRed

Yeah, It was actually Jack in the Richard sense of the word (**** and Jane) from some illustrated reading books from the 1950's (or so). But I really like Jack as the euphemism now.

That's an impressive time line of transcendence. I've started my own progression, but I can tell it's going to take little while...

I like the haha fine, but knowing 'lol' hurts you back into a 7th grade convulsion I kind of like that better. And I really should have sold it (the blank handbook) better.
'But 'abstractly,' it is complete.' While waving my tiny little hands around in circles to distract her.

The archetypes are a really interesting idea of Jung, similar to Plato, or Aristotle's Outline theory, in a way. There is the field, of Psycho-Biology (terrible name, but something I think you would really get into) with 'The Brain' by Richard Restak being a very readable introduction.

I actually work the graveyard shift at a half production/ half R and D wafer fab, but the production stuff should be going to China real soon. And layoffs plentiful, and please, please pink slip me. And we had yet another meeting this morning. And have another scheduled for tomorrow. And yes, sometimes I just want to punch my boss in the throat.


I think we both (to various degrees) have our share of exposed wiring that makes us a little wild. I'm sure there's a huge difference and I'm sure there's many things I won't understand (at least not fully understand). I'm not a very combative person though, but usually my size 6'4" 200 lbs. keeps anyone from testing me.
The teen years were pretty mad, but I had access to a lot of pharmaceuticals from the parents of friends to give me a little buffer for the exposed wiring. Got valium and barbiturates, from a kid who's mom was a nurse. Pain pills from a doctor's kid. And the combining of these with alcohol was a pretty sweet buffer. But largely I rarely did drugs unless I was forced out and about. And I didn't care for pot, or any hallucinogenics. The strangest drug I ever took was from a Veterinarian's kid, which I may have to talk about later, not good.

__________________
Dark Circle : They're here. Rocking your black night world since 2007.
http://www.unsignedbandweb.com/music/bands/7789/

ItsRed

Yeah, it's unfortunate that the neocons have poloarized us in such an abrassive way that it's nice to just be able to share a view with someone without a load of contested rhetoric.

__________________
Dark Circle : They're here. Rocking your black night world since 2007.
http://www.unsignedbandweb.com/music/bands/7789/

Kevorkian Logic

That's a bit sadastic, in the good way that makes me smile, if that makes sense. The bad way being my friend who takes emense pleasure in watching his ex turn into a blonde automaton and get in trouble for "flaunting her pot smoking habits on campus."

I wouldn't call the time line impressive, just a logic based child attempting to find...logic (for lack of a better word).

But 'abstractly,' it is complete.' While waving my tiny little hands around in circles to distract her.
^That made me "lol"(I still cringe), as well.

And your book suggestions really have expanded my usually pathetically small list of books I want to read.

I embarrassingly have to ask what is R and D? I probably should know, but I somehow managed to skip the econ class at school, so have no conception of business jargon. And the only experience I have working is when I model every once in a while, which honestly teaches me little, except different ways of walking, twirling, and evoking intensity. Sorry about all the meetings though.

hehe, being that tall is an excellent reason not to test your patience. I probably wouldn't, considering i'm a 5'9" blonde that weighs 124 lbs (i'm actually the heaviest i've ever been right now). It's reassuring your not a very combative person, too many people are these days. There's this physco kid in my grade who started a fight club in which there has already been a concussion, broken hand, black eye, and displaced shoulder blade. The last fight I went to I spent about 1 hour playing nurse, because none of the guys were taking care of themselves, they were just sitting letting there faces bleed.

What happened with the drug from the Vet's kid? I'm immensely curious. The worse I ever did was acid. The trippiest was this summer when my best friend there gave me some random pills that I, like you, combined with alcohol and pot. I spent that night on a pirate ship.

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"it is only through a limitless accumulation of the imperfect that a certain type of perfection can be attained"

NaNaNer

Is Uber a quirky word..you could use that next time..

I like it..I related to it...but when I think of red on a ceiling I think of

Redrum.

__________________
Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat: "we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."

“See I think drugs have done some good things for us, I really do, and if you don't believe drugs have done good things for us, do me a favor: go home tonight and take all your albums, all your tapes, and all your cds and burn 'em. 'cause you know the musicians who made all that great music that's enhanced your lives throughout the years.... rrrrrrrrreal f**kin high on drugs.”

Kevorkian Logic

haha, yea, at least 2 people have related to it. (I honestly think Crowquill doesn't like me or my music, ergo not liking anything I write)

In 7th grade I started writing Redrum, Redrum all over my science exam because I finished early. I freaked a lot of people out that day. Sweet connection though. And i'll try to use Uber next time I write, it is quirky.

__________________
"it is only through a limitless accumulation of the imperfect that a certain type of perfection can be attained"

ItsRed

I just looked at my previous post and I can't believe I forgot to italicize Dick once again.

The R and D are for Research and Development, although I have nothing to do with any of the loftier engineering aspects, I'm pretty much an automaton. Besides some very basic math all my job skills were acquired in kindergarten. I consider the job as elevated cannery work, just like I considered an old office job as retarded origami.
I also forgot to say the farm is pretty light work, consisting of mainly throwing flakes of hay out of a pickup truck for the horses. It's more the drive there, the time consumption, the being awake. Spring is busier and irrigation during the summer a little more physically demanding and time consuming. But it's also real nice some times. Taking the bird dogs (german short-hairs) out and letting bounce around in the field in front of you.

I definitely get the masochistic male drive that inspires things like fight clubs, the world can seem so safe, ineffectual and fake. Pain feels real and fighting/ physical challenges can test your very essence, your heart in a way that nothing else will. The drive to see if you really are worth a damn. Like most things I went through my phases with athletics and imperiling challenges. I got close enough, to see what I wanted from a free hand rock climbing experience. Stuck with my fist in a crevice like a monkey trap. Down no longer an option, up seemingly impossible. Just there, using my fist for leverage, hoping it didn't slide out of the hole until I got my other hand on top. The tricky part was only about nine, or ten feet, but the drop would have been about thirty feet onto jagged boulders. Once I got to the top, I suggested to the friends (who had some experience climbing) to try that piece, because of the rush I feeling. Because life seemed really huge at that moment. At that moment, standing on top of that rock, adrenaline pumping mad, life seemed like one very big potent deal.
To which they responded, 'No effing way.'

As far as phenotype I'm sure 5'9", blonde and 124 lbs. can be plenty persuasive. Modeling seems like it could be plenty difficult, I would definitely be begging in my mind, 'Please, please ask me to show indifference. Ask me to give one great big blank stare.' Do you have a best and worst evocation experience?

The vet drug, was cat tranquilizer and with the word 'tranquilizer' I was expecting a diazepam, Valium type thing. Found out afterwards it's based on a derivative of PCP. Which actually makes some sense for the spatial inconsistencies and how immobilizing they were to me, but I didn't feel very 'tranquil.' It was bizarre and ending up in some strange trailer/ mobile home that night didn't help in the slightest. I felt like a giant and that I was the only really solid thing in the structure, everything else, like the walls and ceiling seemed paper thin. Internally there was no buzz, nothing calming, or stimulating at all, which sucked azz. I just sat in a lounger and there was this red balloon that someone had charged and stuck to the ceiling and it looked more solid than anything else. I remember thinking there was no way I was going to fit around that without incidentally tearing down every wall of the trailer on my way out. Just felt helpless, no pro side to it, maybe if I'd been outdoors, but I doubt it. I could see where it'd mess with cats to keep them from moving though.

I've got my own book list growing on the fridge too, it's been awhile. Thanks.

__________________
Dark Circle : They're here. Rocking your black night world since 2007.
http://www.unsignedbandweb.com/music/bands/7789/

NaNaNer

Yeah do that..use Uber I bet you'll get some more followers. I only know of Redrum from the book..damn good book too.

__________________
Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat: "we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."

“See I think drugs have done some good things for us, I really do, and if you don't believe drugs have done good things for us, do me a favor: go home tonight and take all your albums, all your tapes, and all your cds and burn 'em. 'cause you know the musicians who made all that great music that's enhanced your lives throughout the years.... rrrrrrrrreal f**kin high on drugs.”

Kevorkian Logic

For kicks and giggles I posted our entire conversation so far (not including what i'm typing now) into word. A solid 11 pages. Impressive, no? But that is probably more than any paper or story i've ever written before. I usually go add on stories before I can finish them.

Oh, R and D makes total sense and I feel like a complete retard for not being able to figure it out. Sorry, your an automaton though, if I had a magic 8 ball and happened to shake it, i'm sure it would say you have a brighter future coming your way. At least the farm is terribly much work, and you have the german short-hairs to keep you company, they're so much fun to play with when they give you attention (one of my dogs is half german short-hair, half Satan). Do you ever go huntin' with them?

Haha, I love your friends reaction to mountain climbing, it's classic. Very excellent way of describing rock climbing, I felt like I was in the moment. On a side not, I understand how pain makes everything so real, but isn't there a better way feel what is real? Or possibly if you can understand what is real, couldn't you learn how to always feel real? Those questions make me sound like i'm stoned. But i've always been curious what is real?

I honestly don't play to my looks to get what I want (if I really want something I will, but that is a very rare occasion). I tend to downplay them as much as possible-- no makeup, about 15 seconds spent brushing my hair (sometimes I don't even bother), and as my friends often tell me I dress very unflattering for my figure. I prefer to get through life on my intellect *shock*, most of the models usually laugh claiming it is a "silly" idea.

The worst experience I had was when I had consumed a bit too much champagne back stage and when I went to walk down the runway I was couldn't walk in a straight line. I got in so much trouble. This lady named Veronica (director of the show), spent a good 10 minutes yelling at me, I felt so incompetent. My best experience was at this one show that called "Through the Looking Glass" (Alice in Wonderland Theme) and one of my best friends who tends to be at the same shows I am at got to be on the runway working with me. It was so much fun, because it was a square runway so we came out as interpretive (white fishnet stockings, tail, white jacket, white top hat) rabbits running around like we were late for the show. Then at the top of the square we ran into each other (we were spoused to), and the lights cut out for 10 seconds during which we had to sprint backstage before the lights came back on, shining on our two white top hats we were spoused to leave. It really got the adrenaline flowing, like when you rock climbed I suppose.

Sorry the story was so long, I wish I had a short response to my best and worst experience, I could of just said some of the really idiotic things i've heard them say.

Very interesting experience you had with drugs, I can't honestly say i've heard someone with an experience like that before. It is very unique. But i'm sure the lack of buzz inside must of been extremely frustrating. Your red balloon part of the story is what keeps sticking with me. It sounds like a great topic for a song. In the back of my mind i'm thinking there's some song by Goldfinger about Red Balloons. Do you know if there is?

I'm getting this sense that you are a huge outdoors person. Am I right in assuming that? And on a random tangent, do you ride horses? That was my passion once, and since you spend time on a farm you just might.

__________________
"it is only through a limitless accumulation of the imperfect that a certain type of perfection can be attained"

ItsRed

There have been a few outdoorsy farm experiences, a few hunting trips, some horse riding, a single attempt at steer riding when I seven, but not a lot. The short-hairs are my uncles and are all of the same bloodline as his first short-hair that I remember from an early age. I remember him and his first dog with super fond memories, such a comedic pair.
I do really appreciate my rural background, witnessing the birth of a colt, the sense of accomplishment in getting a field cleared of bails of hay, spending time with my grandfather when he was younger and you could earn his respect and confidence out in the fields. He told me two things that really stuck with me. One, when I was maybe five, we we're walking out to the pasture and he looked at my shoe strings and said, 'You better tie up those shoes, or you're going to trip and break your goddamn neck.' The other was when I was about fifteen, 'Son, I don't need to go to church. I spend all day with god. God is everything, every piece of straw, the mountains, everything.'

It looks like Goldfinger did a cover of 99 Red Balloons (luft balloons) by Nena, great song in German, or English. I'm not sure if it was the color, or shape, or both that were so immobilizing.

I have probably 15 manuscripts (most are screenplays) over a hundred pages (the longest about 240) each and my user name comes from a novel I wrote during the last national write a novel month (november) 'The Little Red Number Fives.' It's just re-writing is a special torture I'd rather avoid so thousands of thousands of pages and nothing clean.

The 'Through the Looking Glass' show seems pretty intense. I hate to suggest too many books at a time, but with your modeling and knowledge of fight clubs you probably have already read it, Invisible Monster by Chuck Palahnuik (sp?). If not, it's an amusing good read. And reading of the champagne experience and knowing me I could see Veronica carrying on for about five minutes before I held up my middle finger and asked, 'What do you think the BMI of this finger is? Right here, this finger?'

There was something earlier on that I was going to get to (I'm sure there are many things I've forgot), but it was about acute sensitivity (for a general term) and the way people with it can also get more and sometimes too much out of stimulus. What's beautiful can be almost paralyzingly beautiful. There are a few things I've witnessed that have stunned me in a exquisite way, but they're pretty confined within an experience that is difficult to convey. Wanted to share and hopefully I'll be able to give up a few that there is a possibility of you seeing, either in movies, or life.

One beautiful thing was a little girl doing this french performance type song for school children called, Une Petite Poisson. It's a stretch but perhaps someone you know, or will meet has attended a Montessori and knows the song. It just too sweet and horrible and true to take.

If you've ever seen Amelie, I think the character who was called 'The Glass Man' was sending her video tapes with images of life affirming items, so maybe that's what I'm thinking about. I did really adore the one image he sent of the horse in the bicycle race (maybe tour de france).

Well work time
it's been snowing here.

__________________
Dark Circle : They're here. Rocking your black night world since 2007.
http://www.unsignedbandweb.com/music/bands/7789/

ItsRed

Was working on a big huge reply to Pills Steal my Ecstatic Delusions, but it got all disjointed and unclear. I'll try again Sunday, or Monday. To just say, it's crazy great in many ways including structure and word use, is not enough. I might actually hit the max. words with the reply.

__________________
Dark Circle : They're here. Rocking your black night world since 2007.
http://www.unsignedbandweb.com/music/bands/7789/