Dark Circle

read my explanation of the song! It is not pointless and it tells a story about all my struggles so far!

Kevorkian Logic

songs shouldn't need a blow-by-blow explanation.

__________________
"it is only through a limitless accumulation of the imperfect that a certain type of perfection can be attained"

Dark Circle

well if there is an explanation there is sense

PaperHurricanesAndPlanes

Yeah. But you won't be sitting next to the listener able to explain it to them. Just like a poet can't sit next to a reader and explain every little detail and reference. Making the lyrics/poem meaningless.

__________________

swim

So after everyone saying this is crap what have you changed? Nothing? ORLY? I thought the point of posting anything in here was to get advice.

__________________
http://nakednaps.bandcamp.com/

PaperHurricanesAndPlanes

I'm telling him to write lyrics that someone can, without his help, derive meaning from, how is that not helpful. He's just whining on and on.

__________________

DontRunMeOver

Dark Circles, are you crazy thinking that you'll get signed without providing something different? Your singer has a weak and wayward voice, your music is repetitive and pretty dull and your lyrics seem kind of meaningless. This doesn't mean that you won't ever get anywhere, as you might end up improving a lot, but with the songs and singing you have at the moment no record company with any brains is going to offer you anything.

In my opinion the killer for a lot of bands when they start off is trying to make their music too sensible and commercial. However much we might bitch and whine about a lot of chart music, most of it DOES actually have some kind of wow factor, something different that sells it, which amateur bands who try to play it safe just aren't going to achieve. If you're not going to provide something which is instantly attention grabbing (funky dance moves, lots of bling, large breasts... that kind of thing) then you damn well had better provide something meaningful which the more attentive can appreciate.

At the moment your music does neither. Ask yourself "why would people be interested in our band?".,,







...If the only answer you feel confident giving is "because we play good music", and maybe some bull**** about your personal commitment to and love of music, then you're not going anywhere. In my opinion.

__________________

skindredluver

It was alright but nothing special about it flare it up!lol

__________________
Let them live in the stillness and know the flame. They will loose all and give all..

Boys are like lava lamps: fun to look at but not so bright

Coffee, chocolate and men, some things are just better rich

Moon Pix

What do you mean? If you find it unfortunate that you and your friend want to be a mainstream band then why are you chasing after that sort of success?

You make no sense.

__________________
There’s a dream that I see, I pray it can be
Look 'cross the land, shake this land - "Maybe Not", C. Marshall

either/or

isnt it funny how the ****test lyrics get the most attention in this forum?

__________________
Painstaking devotion and love
Surrendered to self preservation
From others who care for themselves
A blindness that touches perfection
But hurts just like anything else

Isolation, isolation, isolation